tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-231708632024-03-07T02:31:58.444-06:00MOJOPOSTI've got my mojo workin!Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.comBlogger270125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-61975560417149795642010-12-15T13:58:00.005-06:002010-12-15T15:07:12.557-06:00My Favorites...and one year later, we returned to Mojopost. I'm writing the holiday letter, but in the meantime please enjoy ten of my favorite things here. I hope you like.<br /><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/05/fat-lady-debbie.html">Fat Lady & Debbie</a><br /><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/04/booger-charmer.html">The Booger Charmer</a><br /><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/08/memorial-brunch-for-karma.html">Memorial Brunch for Karma</a><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/05/dont-start-none-wont-be-none-satircal.html"><br />Don't Start None, Won't Be None</a><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/09/i-waited-four-years-for-this.html"><br />I Waited Four Years For This</a><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/10/mccain-surprises-nudist-rally-by.html"><br />McCain Surprises Nudist Rally</a><br /><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2008/12/bog-politics-and-bailouts.html">Bog Politics and Bailouts</a><br /><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2009/04/im-no-dr-doolittle-but.html">I'm No Dr. Doolittle, But...</a><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2009/04/back-forty-of-my-youth.html"><br />The Back Forty of My Youth</a><br /><a href="http://mojopo.blogspot.com/2009/04/back-forty-of-my-youth.html"><br />Mojopost Goes Green</a>Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-42911166637102970242009-12-29T12:21:00.009-06:002009-12-29T18:53:19.337-06:00Underpants Bomber: Umar and the Angry Inch<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPR_zxrVOjI_ZlaOsW8MgtDdazxFm8xJvreSlIryLyGaMNP9JPHzpyUqjHpsj5_W6xFb-VcvKqrdnNRwdnsXACRB4cSZCtT7BMySeKL9nSkvi2KThhSodTWR2fKA_KuQyHI1YGjA/s1600-h/exploded+underwear.png"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPR_zxrVOjI_ZlaOsW8MgtDdazxFm8xJvreSlIryLyGaMNP9JPHzpyUqjHpsj5_W6xFb-VcvKqrdnNRwdnsXACRB4cSZCtT7BMySeKL9nSkvi2KThhSodTWR2fKA_KuQyHI1YGjA/s200/exploded+underwear.png" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5420725122140313490" /></a>
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<br />I had the flu once, and I had to throw out my mattress. Now I see how lucky I really am.
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<br /><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8433844.stm">Umar the Underpants Bomber</a> most likely burned his wiener off, but no one has said so. I can’t imagine he didn’t. We’re going to have to pay for his penis reconstruction, aren't we? I mean - we can’t just let it hang there. I wish Janet Napolitano could explain more.
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<br />This whole thing worries me. Not the terror part, because we can’t control extremists. It’s a fact we live with. No, what worries me is that some jerk is going to start packing tampons with plastic explosives. The fuse is already there! Or, what about a maxi-pad? You’ve seen the commercials – they can hold ten times their own weight of blue liquid. Plus, some brands have wings! If the terrorists ever get a clue about menstruation products, we are doomed.
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<br />Now what? Am I going to have to surrender my feminine hygiene products to the TSA? Those plastic bins are going to be full of mighty hell, is what I am saying, and I don’t care for it one bit.
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<br />First they came for your shoes. Then they came for your underwear. Dear Lord, do not let me stand still when they come back for my heavy-days.
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<br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" border="0" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script></div></div>Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-81905510535349606182009-12-10T12:24:00.022-06:002009-12-10T23:16:48.116-06:00Whoopty Freakin' Doo Awards - 2009<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHBD1AlkvxCKZB02Ei1qHaQrp9cmKFhqYI0NtGCw-RIUeMFTUBOIJQkq_hTCZleLF-IKdAumR7lZOCZPoqFZVClQSMHMtKAG2LpagrB3_kkAv4mwQRsfin1d2OwaOckH5O45T-TQ/s1600-h/whoopty1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 171px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHBD1AlkvxCKZB02Ei1qHaQrp9cmKFhqYI0NtGCw-RIUeMFTUBOIJQkq_hTCZleLF-IKdAumR7lZOCZPoqFZVClQSMHMtKAG2LpagrB3_kkAv4mwQRsfin1d2OwaOckH5O45T-TQ/s400/whoopty1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413678144763831618" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhscfaeOpXcYrGFvmhArj8qF6N91KIbsERCnhhO08XL-T9UShLEReUkjyC5S9q481_T-rvlJfYJjclJQGP9yF9WLOI2Yz2dtoiCK5hzS1ul5rRquLPR5oZkqKeUwUSRn4WGckqUCQ/s1600-h/douche.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 57px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhscfaeOpXcYrGFvmhArj8qF6N91KIbsERCnhhO08XL-T9UShLEReUkjyC5S9q481_T-rvlJfYJjclJQGP9yF9WLOI2Yz2dtoiCK5hzS1ul5rRquLPR5oZkqKeUwUSRn4WGckqUCQ/s320/douche.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413683341789888386" border="0" /></a>
<br /><meta name="Title" content=""> <meta name="Keywords" content=""> <meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"> <meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"> <meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"> <meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"> <link rel="File-List" href="file://localhost/Users/mjparlier/Library/Caches/TemporaryItems/msoclip1/01/clip_filelist.xml"> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:documentproperties> <o:template>Normal</o:Template> <o:revision>0</o:Revision> <o:totaltime>0</o:TotalTime> <o:pages>1</o:Pages> <o:words>522</o:Words> <o:characters>2976</o:Characters> <o:lines>24</o:Lines> <o:paragraphs>5</o:Paragraphs> <o:characterswithspaces>3654</o:CharactersWithSpaces> <o:version>11.1282</o:Version> </o:DocumentProperties> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:donotshowrevisions/> <w:donotprintrevisions/> <w:displayhorizontaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery> <w:displayverticaldrawinggridevery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery> <w:usemarginsfordrawinggridorigin/> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--> <style> <!-- /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:"Times New Roman"; panose-1:0 2 2 6 3 5 4 5 2 3; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:auto; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:50331648 0 0 0 1 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-parent:""; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Mojopost</span> proudly presents the <span style="font-weight: bold;">Whoopty Freakin’ Doo Awards of 2009</span>.<span style=""> </span>Whoopty Freakin’ Doo’s are awarded for underwhelming performances and embarrassments, that amount to less bang/more whimper.<span style=""> </span>See if your low expectations made our list!</p><p class="MsoNormal">
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<br /><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Biggest Waste Of Time Ever</span><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://practicumpioneers.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/twitter_death.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 307px; height: 186px;" src="http://practicumpioneers.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/twitter_death.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Twitter</span> <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Twitter is soon to be as culturally relevant as a CB radio.<span style=""> </span>It is a diversion from meaningful relationships, invented by Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, displayed in 140 characters or less (like this).<span style=""> </span> #loser! </p> <p class="MsoNormal">
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<br /><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkbJRDbSObW03wtQZemy0rpwHNieQXFZkM9Ph1cOWREUuMCLENdhejP73Zm5KF6bkaM8L1IzArfDo2VaToIdPlPBFSoyWF3vLjH9dhzN93AWHBjx8XKySXZn0_O0FFL6ISzcff3Q/s1600-h/obamas-bad-day.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 298px; height: 190px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkbJRDbSObW03wtQZemy0rpwHNieQXFZkM9Ph1cOWREUuMCLENdhejP73Zm5KF6bkaM8L1IzArfDo2VaToIdPlPBFSoyWF3vLjH9dhzN93AWHBjx8XKySXZn0_O0FFL6ISzcff3Q/s200/obamas-bad-day.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413692732328579890" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">Giant Sucking Noise</span><span style="font-weight: bold;">
<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Pres. Barack Obama</span>
<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Hopey had a crappy summer (birthers, tea-baggers, and Cheney, oh my!). It got even worse when he won a Nobel Peace Prize.<span style=""> </span>Rewarding the new kid too soon is always a bad idea.<span style=""> </span>With the rest of his semester ruined, Pres. Obama will have no choice but to eat lunch with foreign exchange students in the cafeteria.<span style=""> </span>Thanks a lot, Norway!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizffx2wO46FuUNSe0IVUs6OE9VP5VaBkwDdnTDZrPNiAHEG-dYVEpWHQgG9x0HiH01vSS4QZl2wO7vq5PbDyGVSrZi8MlnIrUX6R9lVSCZrLuBWAmzR54LBBIL1qozPWyict7Qtg/s1600-h/balloon-boy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 269px; height: 197px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizffx2wO46FuUNSe0IVUs6OE9VP5VaBkwDdnTDZrPNiAHEG-dYVEpWHQgG9x0HiH01vSS4QZl2wO7vq5PbDyGVSrZi8MlnIrUX6R9lVSCZrLuBWAmzR54LBBIL1qozPWyict7Qtg/s200/balloon-boy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413694265675256386" border="0" /></a>Epic Failure Of An Ill-Conceived Hoax
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Balloon Boy</span> <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Everybody got sucked into the balloon, from NORAD to Wolf Blitzer. Everybody except for Falcon Heene, age 6. When it was discovered that Falcon's parents, Richard and Mayumi, staged the hoax to get a TV show, no one was more grateful than CNN. Every little drop of ratings juice counts!
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<br /></p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOTe9m68qGC3_we28dFCDL98MI5PjYsnJCFTFbdcWpJH0FYkl7LKPrMpIe_QV3KLvGicHC1SPDsgxOk3El6iusJO_LY2lJnQnTKmu-js6oDPk_Nimd9FDuwAEu_NoeWQXVJFRWxA/s1600-h/J_gosselin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 152px; height: 209px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOTe9m68qGC3_we28dFCDL98MI5PjYsnJCFTFbdcWpJH0FYkl7LKPrMpIe_QV3KLvGicHC1SPDsgxOk3El6iusJO_LY2lJnQnTKmu-js6oDPk_Nimd9FDuwAEu_NoeWQXVJFRWxA/s200/J_gosselin.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413696169104496418" border="0" /></a></p><p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Biggest Douchebag*</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">John Gosselin </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">We have never seen the reality program that used to feature Jon Gosselin, his ex-wife, Kate, or their eight children.<span style=""> </span>But we do read the tabloids whenever we’re waiting in line at the grocery store.<span style=""> </span>By all accounts, Jon is a middle-aged, balding chub who likes to put his penis into women other than his wife.<span style=""> </span>When he is not putting his thing somewhere or another, he’s busy spending his children’s education fund on douchebag essentials like Ed Hardy shirts and hair plugs.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Runner Up - Octomom</span>
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<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2fKP7MSnMZkuKM6O64lwlklbPmLOAjbV8Wvnbhx4-ai9jceBGgbBtQbboYQQ5G7yvbXRZ9KNNOp1GvPeB2inEDx6LXkpHYsHJ-B3aFAUyOigvXdFUm7JmiIHCXFrK0bfClG8Usw/s1600-h/tiger-sad.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 179px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2fKP7MSnMZkuKM6O64lwlklbPmLOAjbV8Wvnbhx4-ai9jceBGgbBtQbboYQQ5G7yvbXRZ9KNNOp1GvPeB2inEDx6LXkpHYsHJ-B3aFAUyOigvXdFUm7JmiIHCXFrK0bfClG8Usw/s200/tiger-sad.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5413697102445842866" border="0" /></a></p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><p class="MsoNormal"><!--[if !supportEmptyParas]--> <!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Most Likely To Fake Remorse</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Tiger Woods </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Perhaps you’ve heard the jokes by now.<span style=""> </span>“He’s no Tiger, he’s a Cheetah!” or, “Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of women fell out.”<span style=""> </span>The world’s greatest living athlete will now attempt to be very sorry about having extra-marital affairs with plenty of women, but we know better.<span style=""> </span>He’s just sad he didn’t use a disposable cell phone.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">
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<br />Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-76811066490111078652009-10-28T12:19:00.009-05:002009-11-17T14:20:11.393-06:00Catching Up With Exclamation Points!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_AqR9Me52dGJBujv3Rhh77pQ7rf7xVHwvE9qcFhOH9au9qhwd4fz4JjjzQlnVY5k-rb2BxJ_fHiXmFn4GBREIYJWec0dSFsMpeuGN5mKdpVdogQVqGQIk8AZtnS73zvzAUVWXww/s1600-h/mj+thumb+sucker.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_AqR9Me52dGJBujv3Rhh77pQ7rf7xVHwvE9qcFhOH9au9qhwd4fz4JjjzQlnVY5k-rb2BxJ_fHiXmFn4GBREIYJWec0dSFsMpeuGN5mKdpVdogQVqGQIk8AZtnS73zvzAUVWXww/s200/mj+thumb+sucker.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5397724464955930882" border="0" /></a><br /><br />I have not blogged in a month! Maybe one or more of you wonder why! I'll tell you that and more!<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I joined the Y to get my ass down to human size!<br /><br />I got sick of cable news and politics! Keith Olbermann's noogies! Teabaggers! Balloon Boy! Liberal's fixation with Glenn Beck and FOX News - whatev! I've got better shit to do!<br /><br />Blogging was taking time away from real-life adventures! Like bowling! And sobriety!<br /><br />I got my mind on money and money on my mind! So I'm writing a book! It will have actual pages full of sentences to read!<br /><br />I'm trying to find out what goes into a submission packet for late-night TV writers! Apparently, it is a giant secret! WTF! It's like trying to find a fat kid who DOES NOT smell like Burger King!<br /><br />Also! The Bermuda Triangle is located off the coast of Twitter, between Facebook and a news feed icon! Unplug when the compass goes bananas!<br /><br />That's what I'm up to! Hit me back, stranger! Have a happy day!<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Jay Reatard - It Ain't Gonna Save Me</span><div><span></span><b><br /></b><div><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dG65eqfg6bc&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dG65eqfg6bc&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br /><br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" border="0" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script></div></div>Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-39500719520606259492009-09-24T13:17:00.012-05:002009-12-11T12:10:08.564-06:00Politics Of Love - New VH-1 Series with John Edwards<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtpHt7TJYx-BEDfx0D74Y535j4lvxpEzFWVXN_5_CpqU4cN8eVP8pIcH-g1IXYdAj4X2sTavQE_7bVsRzeyYTyubOHaLvxhN8C_YPv5mUD2VEaK5AkEEArjwOQ5bmglM_yoUhr1A/s1600-h/john_edwards.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 179px; height: 268px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtpHt7TJYx-BEDfx0D74Y535j4lvxpEzFWVXN_5_CpqU4cN8eVP8pIcH-g1IXYdAj4X2sTavQE_7bVsRzeyYTyubOHaLvxhN8C_YPv5mUD2VEaK5AkEEArjwOQ5bmglM_yoUhr1A/s320/john_edwards.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5385115172030264210" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Morally impoverished former presidential candidate John Edwards is dating again. Which community college cutie from night school can win John's heart? Watch <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">Politics Of Love</span>, Monday at 9:00 PM on VH-1.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I spoke with Bret Michaels (<span style="font-style: italic;">Rock of Love</span>, <em></em>lead singer of Poison, douchebag) about dating on reality programs.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/87/33/bret_michaels.0.0.0x0.420x630.jpeg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 102px; height: 154px;" src="http://cm1.theinsider.com/media/0/87/33/bret_michaels.0.0.0x0.420x630.jpeg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />"For me, the experience was complicated by medical conditions I may or may not have. Finding the right women, who may or may not share these afflictions - burning, itching and whatnot - was a daunting task for the producers. Once we got everything in sync, I think we resolved my lack of depth with just the right amount of hair weaves, cleavage and Valtrex®."<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Flavor Flav, asthmatic cocksman from <span style="font-style: italic;">Flavor of Love</span>, also commented:<br /><br />"People said my show could not be real, that is was too much to believe. What is not real about women with acrylic nails and breast implants fighting for the love of a short and ugly, but rich and famous man? I mean - <span style="font-style: italic;">hello</span>? Have you SEEN Ron Perelman? And he had Ellen Barkin, <span style="font-style: italic;">when she was hot</span>. I rest my case."<br /><br /><br /><br />I asked John Edwards if he's still waiting for his wife to die, so that he can marry his baby mother. Edwards had no comment.<br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" border="0" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script>Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-64191806978751250492009-09-16T12:12:00.014-05:002009-09-16T13:46:29.489-05:00How Big Is It? - U2 360 Tour<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/7/4/4/0/28900447-28900448-large.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 509px; height: 327px;" src="http://i.realone.com/assets/rn/img/7/4/4/0/28900447-28900448-large.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Ground Control to Major Tom…</span><br /><br />That’s how the <a href="http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/music_blog/2009/09/u2s-360-tour-one-of-the-best-stadium-shows-of-the-last-decade.html">U2 360 Tour</a> at Soldier Field started, with a recording by David Bowie. <br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Ground Control to Major Tom…</span><br /><br />It took four days to build U2’s set. What is that? This is a ginormous set of space claws, expelling gasses and digital images bigger than a swimming pool. I came to the show with a healthy dose of skepticism about that monster, wondering if it would seem like a very big and empty gesture. The thing I noticed first is that U2 were brought down to size beneath this structure - they were no bigger than me or the people I came with. The set design is also about accessibility. You see, U2 are just like you and me. Our only differences are net worth and international fame. And special effects. But really, we're all the same.<br /><br /><span style="font-style:italic;">Take your protein pills and put your helmet on…</span><br /><br />The Olds (people older than me) learned lessons about social activism from Harriett Tubman and Bobby Kennedy. Not me. Back in my day, we were enlightened beneath the cascade of Bono’s mullet, as he sang about war with a beat we could dance to. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSKjLaxNdVyHrDjYuOQzx1vQ3eMjUGwBuBpPS7kvLcile5pNLWhB_J6ZiKWzkxSpNLrAFlkmweVEQXm13Bg5NxLFaLat7NkfPiEfSEONECf1xHTMmgD8Yzv0-ulzlPvfKRIuPUfQ/s1600-h/blinding+light.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSKjLaxNdVyHrDjYuOQzx1vQ3eMjUGwBuBpPS7kvLcile5pNLWhB_J6ZiKWzkxSpNLrAFlkmweVEQXm13Bg5NxLFaLat7NkfPiEfSEONECf1xHTMmgD8Yzv0-ulzlPvfKRIuPUfQ/s200/blinding+light.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382120101912311522" /></a><br />This is a picture of me dancing and taking pictures during “City of Blinding Light”.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYIkLxHUYe6aAGI0_vgeHRM11SiqY69MrmKRqyxKJGN43o1HvVTuwZyAcbOKCcbtwPgoQJsp9CahZtPe4XcSQBb20K6HgcrRE2m5eydzQTwxBq_OEj2Zyjl0EBjo1H9rUyzycgcQ/s1600-h/u2+floor.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYIkLxHUYe6aAGI0_vgeHRM11SiqY69MrmKRqyxKJGN43o1HvVTuwZyAcbOKCcbtwPgoQJsp9CahZtPe4XcSQBb20K6HgcrRE2m5eydzQTwxBq_OEj2Zyjl0EBjo1H9rUyzycgcQ/s200/u2+floor.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382120464823600562" /></a><br />I missed every preceding U2 tour. At 360 I ended up on the floor near the sound mixers. I could feel "Elevation" in my chest! <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6s8K7aOSSAawLLcDTMvq_LOyZ-kYf13AYqbdbTWvdYTrMDLioQ261-O83hG1wTKvCpxfSN6rvVwKjK-6mxUm3CoJfXDoPxEys6zVjFeJKsMUynEpreL383AjeRLEI-tiOZ6ONng/s1600-h/u2+scream.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6s8K7aOSSAawLLcDTMvq_LOyZ-kYf13AYqbdbTWvdYTrMDLioQ261-O83hG1wTKvCpxfSN6rvVwKjK-6mxUm3CoJfXDoPxEys6zVjFeJKsMUynEpreL383AjeRLEI-tiOZ6ONng/s200/u2+scream.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5382120650880528434" /></a><br />This is a haunted photo of my WOO WOO! during “Until the End of the World”.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><u><span style="font-weight:bold;">After School Special Moments </span></u><br />You know there have to be several, right? Green lights for Iran. Singing along with “Amazing Grace”. Wearing <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aung_San_Suu_Kyi">Aung San Suu Kyi</a> masks. A robot voice reading <a href=" http://www.npr.org/programs/death/readings/poetry/aude.html">Stop All the Clocks</a> by W.H. Auden.<br /><br />Self-indulgence and idealism are two sides of the same coin. You can’t get to where they are without generous spending. <br /><br />You will love this. <br /><span style="font-weight:bold;"><br />U2 on September 13, 2009</span><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/oPAbAfipfFI&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/oPAbAfipfFI&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" width="125" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script>Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-56145325306597877642009-09-14T23:49:00.004-05:002009-09-15T00:01:19.142-05:00Rock Your Face Off With James William Roy<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://vox2.cdn.amiestreet.com/album-art/Paper-Valentines-by-James-William-Roy_0uKdef-VYU8x_216w_216h.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 216px; height: 216px;" src="http://vox2.cdn.amiestreet.com/album-art/Paper-Valentines-by-James-William-Roy_0uKdef-VYU8x_216w_216h.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">Paper Valentines<span style="font-style:italic;"></span></span> is the latest by musician <a href="http://amiestreet.com/music/james-william-roy/paper-valentines">James William Roy</a>. What does he have in common with Lee Harvey Oswald? People with three names always end up on TV. You just wait! Terrific body of work, sir - five thumbs up!<br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" width="125" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script>Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-73888049474346851472009-09-10T10:33:00.008-05:002009-09-10T10:45:29.321-05:00Joe Wilson Is Your Pre-existing Condition<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNEwbXcHhgho1Cq9Fxep_XYfwRJUMmJH3E77yQ4sYfnX8b669W8QSMk5ieJU_DT6X_GMWTWFb5cMu_46Vmu6FsUUVs8GYLV8_ukET1L4AuZkv2GAF09xBKeDM_-TZnE3sTuVC98Q/s1600-h/president_obama_nancy_pelosi_joe_biden(2).jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 142px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNEwbXcHhgho1Cq9Fxep_XYfwRJUMmJH3E77yQ4sYfnX8b669W8QSMk5ieJU_DT6X_GMWTWFb5cMu_46Vmu6FsUUVs8GYLV8_ukET1L4AuZkv2GAF09xBKeDM_-TZnE3sTuVC98Q/s320/president_obama_nancy_pelosi_joe_biden(2).jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5379862347778295442" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Remember that time Congressman Joe Wilson called Pres. Obama a <a href="http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5gTWB1M9VPOte4M77spW7Z62NsGyQD9AKHE401">liar</a> on national TV? OK, but what about Joe? To learn more about this fiesty boob, visit <a href="http://joewilsonisyourpreexistingcondition.com/">Joe Wilson Is Your Pre-existing Condition</a> (click on the text for updates).<br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" width="125" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script>Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-92031173842132286202009-09-04T11:01:00.003-05:002009-09-04T11:09:57.635-05:00Mojopost Keyword Searches<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://writeanything.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/magnetic-words.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 253px; height: 202px;" src="http://writeanything.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/magnetic-words.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Sometimes you scare me. Here is a list of recent keyword searches on Mojopost.<br /><br />1. Mojopo Dies<br />2. Caligula<br />3. Naked Teen Rally<br />4. Michael Jackson latest<br />5. Naked surprises<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Would anyone care to explain? Anyone. If you can explain #1, please remember to include your address and phone number.Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-12010556624096265312009-09-04T10:26:00.007-05:002009-09-04T11:13:58.638-05:00School Children Reminded To Avoid Pedophiles and Barack Obama<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.thebizofknowledge.com/uploads/retard.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 175px; height: 228px;" src="http://www.thebizofknowledge.com/uploads/retard.JPG" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Some parents are upset at Pres. Obama because he’s going to deliver a message about personal responsibility to <a href="http://amfix.blogs.cnn.com/2009/09/04/wingnuts-of-the-week-13/">school children</a>. I hear them! If there is one thing I can’t stand, its personal responsibility. Further, I feel that children are going to be bored senseless. We don nead no edjacashun - we don nead no thout cuntrole. Leaf owr kidz ALNOE!<br /><br /><br />-- -- --<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Personal responsibility is bad for morale. Absolutely no one wants to wake up and have to do things. Someone else, I don’t know who yet, usually handles stuff. Make that person watch Obama!<br /><br />Education is overrated. Take math, for example. The government is wasting millions (billions?) of taxpayer dollars to have some crackpot teach math to poor little kids. This is outrageous! Do we really need to keep these so-called educators on our payroll, when a calculator is much more cost effective? Wake up, America!<br /><br />I’ve had it up to HERE with Obama’s socialist agenda. Help the sick, help the poor… Jesus Christ! He’s helping himself to my money, is what he’s doing.<br /><br />Politics are not appropriate for the classroom. If it was, voting would be mandatory. Mandatory voting? Great. I suppose we’ll get fined for not showing up, huh? I’ll sue.<br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" border="0" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-45487508308072796082009-09-03T12:46:00.007-05:002009-09-03T13:41:31.787-05:00Speech Imp-p-p-p-pediment<object width="450" height="370"><param name="movie" value="http://www.liveleak.com/e/c09_1251699809"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.liveleak.com/e/c09_1251699809" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="450" height="370"></embed></object><br /><br />This is an example of my dreams on <a href="http://www.chantix.com/">Chantix</a>, a medication I'm taking to help me quit smoking. Side effects of Chantix include unusual dreams. My dreams are more focused than the video shown, and as vivid and disturbing as advertised.<br /><br />Last night's sleep had me living at cellular level, and I was receiving take-out sandwiches consisting of live kittens in mayo.<br /><br />The night before? It was an all-night argument with family members. Each time I was on the cusp of delivering the best fix-your-ass statement in the history of ever, I woke up. No, worse than that. I woke up to go poop several times, plus my comeuppance denied. <br /><br />I have all kinds of free space available in my lungs these days. What kind of trick is that? Anyone can breathe in and out. Back in the day I could fill my lungs with two packs of cigarettes and wrap my mouth around an exhaust pipe just to show off. Now what? <br /><br />I've been adding up the <span style="font-style:italic;">do not's</span> and <span style="font-style:italic;">no more's</span> in my life. No smoking, don't stay up so late, don't drink too many martinis on Fridays... On my horizon is a disturbing sense of normalcy and health. What do I have left? HINT: It's the first tool I ever put in my box.<br /><br />I'm not right in the head, that's what. I will cling to this one thing for the rest of my life. If you want my crazy, you're going to have to pull it out of my cold, dead head.<br /><br />God bless us, and especially me!<br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" border="0" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-25172155412853323942009-08-26T10:59:00.007-05:002009-08-26T11:14:49.061-05:00Sanford To Receive The Beating Of His Life?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://maxweber.hunter.cuny.edu/pub/eres/EDSPC715_MCINTYRE/sbWalkPlank.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 197px; height: 137px;" src="http://maxweber.hunter.cuny.edu/pub/eres/EDSPC715_MCINTYRE/sbWalkPlank.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>
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<br />South Carolina is not fucking around. <span style="font-style: italic;">Mojopost</span> just received this ominous tidbit:
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<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">News Release
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<br />For Immediate Release
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<br />Lt. Governor to Hold Press Conference Wednesday, August 26.
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<br />Lt. Governor Andre Bauer will issue a major public statement concerning the ongoing investigation of Governor Mark Sanford today at 12:00 pm on the first floor of the Statehouse.
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<br /></span><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMARIAB%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal"><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN -->
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<br /><script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!-- AddThis Button END --></p> <p class="MsoNormal"> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><!-- AddThis Button END --></p> Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-33694080263279866882009-08-21T12:11:00.007-05:002009-08-21T14:42:32.602-05:00Health Insurance Companies Support Death Panels<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://jaanlo.com/files/imagecache/rectangle_800/howto_steps/Health+Insurance+Claim.jpeg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 512px; height: 358px;" src="http://jaanlo.com/files/imagecache/rectangle_800/howto_steps/Health+Insurance+Claim.jpeg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Insurance companies are kind of right – death panels do exist. They ought to know because they invented the concept.<br /><br /><u><a href="http://juliepierce-sicko.blogspot.com/2007/07/tracy-pierce-sr-what-you-havent-seen-or.html">Tracy Pierce</a></u> was denied life-saving treatments by his medical insurance provider. He died on January 18, 2006.<br /><br />Cigna HeathCare <u><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nataline_Sarkisyan">refused to pay</a></u> for Natalie Sarkisyan’s liver transplant. She was trying to raise $75,000 for a down payment on the procedure when she passed away on December 20, 2007.<br /><br />In addition to supporting death panels, health insurance companies will refuse to cover patients who have <u><a href="http://parents.berkeley.edu/recommend/insurance/trouble.html">pre-existing conditions</a></u>. <br /><br /> <br /><object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vKI9be55N00&hl=en&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vKI9be55N00&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" border="0" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-32799238741754276342009-08-13T11:41:00.008-05:002009-08-13T13:02:30.344-05:00Chicken Like Me<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWPCUTMK9PnqU1Srq3v7CDdEzm_0Hq01w_N3N9FVcLve9DmatJipfvFX8MmNL13Ku5DjuxaHqJpZvHChxm8SvuW_wPLpLKQSSsWfYpfLIfHpr42TA8FwX2fMS4f7Xvi62avlfruw/s1600-h/chickens.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWPCUTMK9PnqU1Srq3v7CDdEzm_0Hq01w_N3N9FVcLve9DmatJipfvFX8MmNL13Ku5DjuxaHqJpZvHChxm8SvuW_wPLpLKQSSsWfYpfLIfHpr42TA8FwX2fMS4f7Xvi62avlfruw/s320/chickens.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369490848040296370" /></a><br />I meant to tell you about the chickens. When I came back from Olcott Beach, I discovered that two chickens had taken up residence on the lawn of an apartment complex across the street. Right, OK – but I don’t live on Old MacDonald’s Farm. I live in Chicago. <br /><br />I took a few photos of the chickens. One is white and one is black – together they were the Yin and Yang of free-range urban life. <br /><br />Everyone who walked the street stopped to gawk at the chickens in the bushes. Dogs pulled against their leashes trying to get a whiff and a taste. I fed the chickens popcorn and, as a much as I enjoyed the diversion, it occurred to me that I should lend a hand towards getting the chickens off the street. The idea was to have a county employee stop by (maybe in a red convertible) and offer the chickens a ride to a fairyland/coop, where they could raise chicks and live as one. Like a big dummy, I called the local administrative office about the chickens but was told that my neighborhood has no animal control officers and to (more or less) suck it. I thought that was the end of it until the cops came.<br /><br />The cops beat the bushes with their batons, hoping to scare the chickens out of hiding. This did not work. Also, it was about 500 degrees that day and everyone knows that patience fries at anything above 85. The cops left a young man behind to figure it out. He was wearing official-looking khakis and a polo shirt, so I’m guessing he must have been some kind of trainee with no seniority. The man brought an empty file box with him, just like the kind you have in your office. It was so, so <span style="font-style:italic;">not</span> a convertible. <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioJhAY-owIa5BRitNQOuRDfhmXzWQYEyM6QA4CpbBj-nlpJ5Yey7ETe4gLmF9QSyBxGasI6sycZg-bCrKxl_uybKM0KwoZxG3O43_LZzHMwdjLWGmmwNuqf_FaHg1v5jvqJJXZlA/s1600-h/chix_n_cops.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioJhAY-owIa5BRitNQOuRDfhmXzWQYEyM6QA4CpbBj-nlpJ5Yey7ETe4gLmF9QSyBxGasI6sycZg-bCrKxl_uybKM0KwoZxG3O43_LZzHMwdjLWGmmwNuqf_FaHg1v5jvqJJXZlA/s320/chix_n_cops.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369491082455863730" /></a><br />While the baton swinging and waiting game went on, residents at the apartment complex became agitated. It started with a blond woman in a tube top, who was announcing to neighbors and passers-by that the cops were after the chickens. “Can you believe it? Who would call up on the chickens?” <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Other tube-topped people came out to peek and old ladies with dogs stopped and stared. One geezer in a t-shirt and boxers came outside on his walker. “Leave the chickens alone!” he yelled. “They aren’t hurting anyone! Leave them alone!” Ut oh.<br /><br />I’m watching all of this and I’m thinking, “Holy shit. These people hate me now! They think I hate the chickens!” I cursed my happy daydream about chicken parks with fountains and golden nests. Just then, Khaki Boy caught the white chicken and shoved it into a box.<br /><br />The young man was growing weary - of the complaints, the heat, who knows? He split and left the chicken of color behind. Poor little dark meat is still on the street. Isn’t that always how it goes?<br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" width="125" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-55487577889360489592009-08-11T09:08:00.007-05:002009-08-11T10:17:42.574-05:00Big Bang Booty<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih4FFefceX3IYXoALpNusD3lpIDwIlUL3h9xqrduS9RPr27fCZMAz5_zdT4JN9mxWxlKYqX2sU1njutYdJuakyTBJC9EnFv8yPrgE-Qc_vmOH7hyaoUAiSnJrAtkdTtM8gnGd1uw/s1600-h/mojofireworks.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 287px; height: 215px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih4FFefceX3IYXoALpNusD3lpIDwIlUL3h9xqrduS9RPr27fCZMAz5_zdT4JN9mxWxlKYqX2sU1njutYdJuakyTBJC9EnFv8yPrgE-Qc_vmOH7hyaoUAiSnJrAtkdTtM8gnGd1uw/s320/mojofireworks.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5368712477332866786" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMARIAB%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="City"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> </style><p class="MsoNormal">To celebrate my first day of a smoking cessation program I enjoyed a full pack of cigarettes.<span style=""> </span>I’ve begun taking a prescription medication to quit smoking, one that causes some people to develop suicidal tendencies and act violently, but the worst side effect I’ve experienced so far is gas.<span style=""> </span>Not just any gas, but legendary, prolific gas.<span style=""> </span>If I put a kazoo up my rear, I could blow the entirety of “<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eB0Bv322JME">O Fortuna</a>” from <span style="font-style: italic;">Carmina Burana</span>. During the first week of this program, I'm allowed to smoke my face off. If I have one left after the gas attack.
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<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Pardon me.<span style=""> </span>Excuse me.<span style=""> </span>“Life begins as a gaseous cloud,” I tell myself.<span style=""> </span>“These are not farts – these are my nebulas.”</p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">The pill I am taking works like this:<span style=""> </span>It finds the pleasure centers in my brain where nicotine parties, and then refuses admittance to any and all comers.<span style=""> </span>Nicotine is deflected and thus, I lose what I like to call The Ahh Factor while smoking.<span style=""> </span>Without the Ahh I don’t receive a punch of dopamine when smoking, but I am suddenly aware of heaviness in my lungs, the wreaking stench of cigarettes and my overburdened ashtray.<span style="">
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<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="">You wouldn't believe what I've done in the past to keep smoking. I've stood outside in blizzards and thunderstorms. I've picked up lit cigarettes I dropped on the pavement to spare my fix, places where dogs poop and bums stew. I have gone out of my way to make time, space and money for this habit because I enjoyed it very much. Turns out I don't really like smoking. I'm just in it for dopamine.
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<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I bought a pair of sandals earlier this summer, and I never wear them because they make a farting sound when I walk.<span style=""> </span>I put on those sandals yesterday and when I got my stride on, I sounded just like an idling tiller.<span style=""> </span>This quit-smoking program is making me famous in ways I could only dream about.
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<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Gotta run now – it’s time for my pill.</p><p class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-style: italic;" class="MsoNormal">Later today:<span style=""> </span>A story about the chickens in my neighborhood.<span style=""> </span>In <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Chicago</st1:city></st1:place>. The cops came…</p><p class="MsoNormal">
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<br /></p> Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-66221344814949266392009-07-16T12:18:00.002-05:002009-07-16T12:43:27.023-05:00Here I Go Again...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.topgunfishingcharters.com/Images/Lake_Ontario_Olcott_NY.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 209px; height: 162px;" src="http://www.topgunfishingcharters.com/Images/Lake_Ontario_Olcott_NY.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Mojopost</span> is traveling east to see Mom. At Mom's house, we will enjoy biscuits and gravy, fresh produce and maybe even some fishing. We will return in about two weeks, give or take a day. <br /><br />-- -- --<br /><br />Please note that I will not be able to participate in the following activities while visiting Mom:<br /><br /><ul><li>Fist fighting</li><li>Hard drinking</li><li>Drive-by shootings</li><li>Exposing myself to the neighbors</li></ul>Even so, I think we can have a great time! Bears moved in up the road - sitting outside at night should be exciting.<br /><br />See you soon!<br /><br />P.S.: Please help yourself to the tomatoes in my absence.<br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a style="font-family: georgia;" href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" width="125" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-87569789741007579162009-07-15T11:22:00.005-05:002009-07-15T11:42:20.627-05:00Wise Latina Festival 2009<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/ohio/images/s/ohio-state-fair.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 344px; height: 276px;" src="http://www.destination360.com/north-america/us/ohio/images/s/ohio-state-fair.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><meta equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><meta name="ProgId" content="Word.Document"><meta name="Generator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><meta name="Originator" content="Microsoft Word 11"><link rel="File-List" href="file:///C:%5CDOCUME%7E1%5CMARIAB%7E1%5CLOCALS%7E1%5CTemp%5Cmsohtml1%5C01%5Cclip_filelist.xml"><o:smarttagtype namespaceuri="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" name="State"></o:smarttagtype><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> </w:Compatibility> <w:browserlevel>MicrosoftInternetExplorer4</w:BrowserLevel> </w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:latentstyles deflockedstate="false" latentstylecount="156"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if !mso]><object classid="clsid:38481807-CA0E-42D2-BF39-B33AF135CC4D" id="ieooui"></object> <style> st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } </style> <![endif]--><style> <!-- /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --></style><span style="font-family:arial;">Welcome to Day 45 of the Wise </span><st1:city style="font-family: arial;" st="on"><st1:place st="on">Latina</st1:place></st1:city><span style="font-family:arial;"> Festival!</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span><span style="font-family:arial;">Wise Latina organizers would like to thank members of the Republican Wise Latina Fan Club for promoting Wise Latinas every 30 minutes, with the exception of lunch breaks and extramarital affairs.</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span><span style="font-family:arial;">I would like to nominate Sen. John Cornyn of </span><st1:state style="font-family: arial;" st="on"><st1:place st="on">Texas</st1:place></st1:state><span style="font-family:arial;"> for Miss Wise Latina 2009.</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span><span style="font-family:arial;">The winner of this crown will be entitled to wear Sonia Sotomayor as a hat for an entire year.</span><span style="font-family:arial;"> </span> <p face="arial" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p face="arial" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p><p face="arial" class="MsoNormal">-- -- --
<br /><o:p></o:p></p><p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p>
<br /></o:p></p>
<br /><p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">Over the past 45 days I have enjoyed a variety of wise <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Latina</st1:place></st1:city> products.<span style=""> </span>Half baked, steamed, battered and fried.<span style=""> </span>
<br /></p><p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /></p><p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">At first I didn’t understand Republican’s fascination with the subject.<span style=""> </span>Then I got aggravated because it kept coming up.<span style=""> </span>Like many people, I came to the conclusion that it would be a good idea to connect a copper wire to my car battery and bite down as hard as I could.<span style=""> </span>When the embers of my former self were extinguished, I realized that the Wise Latina Litmus Test is really the only test that matters when selecting a Supreme Court nominee.</p><p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">
<br /><span style=""> </span></p> <p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p style="font-family: arial;" class="MsoNormal">This is my life now.<span style=""> </span>I have decided to stay on with the festival and travel to cities near you, where the lot of us will sleep in tents and think of new ways to ask the same old questions.<span style=""> </span>If anyone would like to stage an intervention, I don’t think it’s too late.</p> <!-- AddThis Button BEGIN -->
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<br />Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-21562352111721118982009-07-14T09:06:00.011-05:002009-12-10T14:26:26.736-06:00Nurse Sonia and The Doddering Old Fool<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUuatNfnTQ5G1Ji7fQndBVjrT7-KBOsE8fN5WTYNefPSKMBOzRZSruTf5Sfr5IOU7L9HhpptX-6mFv45KhWD5h7IefSkbIh5NOYqgPZxUmwX7cIQP18IiR_spXBYl_FxLxMAz2ZA/s1600-h/soto_sessions.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 189px; height: 278px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUuatNfnTQ5G1Ji7fQndBVjrT7-KBOsE8fN5WTYNefPSKMBOzRZSruTf5Sfr5IOU7L9HhpptX-6mFv45KhWD5h7IefSkbIh5NOYqgPZxUmwX7cIQP18IiR_spXBYl_FxLxMAz2ZA/s320/soto_sessions.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5358338204079285778" border="0" /></a>I'm watching Sen. Jeff Sessions of Alabama grilling Supreme Court Justice nominee Sonia Sotomayor. One thing to keep in mind about Jeff is that he's a smoking anus. Not <span style="font-style: italic;">kind of</span>, <u>is</u>. I don't mean that he smokes, but I do mean that his mouth is an ass and his head is full of gas. When he speaks you can smell it.<br /><br />You have to understand - Jeff Sessions could not become a federal judge in 1986 because it was determined that he harbored "gross racial insensitivity" towards African-Americans. That's a nice way of saying "Jeff loved him some KKK." How ironic is it that this fathead is parsing the definition of "impartiality" and "prejudice" with a Latin woman?<br /><br />Sonia is trying to explain to Jeff that he is taking her comments out of context. No matter how many times she explains herself, Jeff can’t wrap his mind around it. He sounds like an Alzheimer's patient who is angry at his shoelaces, and she looks like the nurse who is trying to find him some Velcro fasteners. It takes patience.<br /><br />One other thing: Every time Jeff time says Puerto Rican, it sounds like "porto reecan". It's on my last nerve.<br /><br />Oh great. Here comes Sen. Orrin Hatch. Is it time for Bingo and a stool softener yet?<br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" height="16" width="125" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-36206621235747459322009-07-10T02:07:00.022-05:002009-07-10T10:32:41.613-05:00Mojopost Goes Green<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4bQ0jt8qH1o2f4CGpyNRApleizK-bVEi33orDV_nT4PddEGr4exas_TOvHr9c9YD8caPCLWHgxQq08rJq7VjqP6itJAqbTGonZhs6E7a7FSXDU1Od11ifNS6iDhC0cxtkzz9flA/s1600-h/watering+can.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 222px; height: 185px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4bQ0jt8qH1o2f4CGpyNRApleizK-bVEi33orDV_nT4PddEGr4exas_TOvHr9c9YD8caPCLWHgxQq08rJq7VjqP6itJAqbTGonZhs6E7a7FSXDU1Od11ifNS6iDhC0cxtkzz9flA/s320/watering+can.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356725311484049634" border="0" /></a><br />It is important for a garden to enjoy a visually appealing watering can. Personally, I recommend yellow because it reflects all kinds of nutritious light. My watering can will support enough water to straighten out your back every morning, when we make three trips to the balcony to fortify precious plant matter.<br /><br />-- -- --<br /><br /><br />For your viewing pleasure I present my garden. First, here is what was going down in May:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg03eKKqD4FGN2zoWIrABbvW2rpU7M0legPTs3WecNCzHEWc2rBnT_ovvrIBxzL5TqqHEnb_YXL_6zlbokGA5T-gpsnKvLELKufG_Pe5yaw6jMCRs7bIfMQQbs3u1WcZ74-t1kW7A/s1600-h/GARDEN-BEFORE.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 249px; height: 162px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg03eKKqD4FGN2zoWIrABbvW2rpU7M0legPTs3WecNCzHEWc2rBnT_ovvrIBxzL5TqqHEnb_YXL_6zlbokGA5T-gpsnKvLELKufG_Pe5yaw6jMCRs7bIfMQQbs3u1WcZ74-t1kW7A/s200/GARDEN-BEFORE.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356732637489671154" border="0" /></a><br />After channeling my agrarian ancestors and consulting Dr. Frankenstein, I made some things happen.<br /><br /><br />Witness the same plants, two months later:<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPjdT58rAp98Le09CX13wW1xrM_sLvS7NBe-UObUlNc3X6ZYHUagP3EiN5H07iI0KXO7zoE53_hyphenhyphenoQIu7urM7a9WS9UwnhNmFbwZAEt5Ul-jURtM6b1L2XwzfNXWM6L2cQQjpfpw/s1600-h/GARDEN-AFTER.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 248px; height: 161px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPjdT58rAp98Le09CX13wW1xrM_sLvS7NBe-UObUlNc3X6ZYHUagP3EiN5H07iI0KXO7zoE53_hyphenhyphenoQIu7urM7a9WS9UwnhNmFbwZAEt5Ul-jURtM6b1L2XwzfNXWM6L2cQQjpfpw/s200/GARDEN-AFTER.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356733181968611234" border="0" /></a><br />OMIGAHD! Can you believe it? Me neither! Clockwise from the left are Dad's dwarf gladiolus, impatients and what I believe to be a hydrangea, a mix of lettuce and tomato plants.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />I ROOOLE!!!!<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJxS9EUlbC74nlvjHqnJGbljywi7zOlC7OEAQck8WPvcqmhrY8gTlO1sZh-w3-6_biY_DkirI80WEi829xn67B9vfLw3JXNB5-gUuJErSjGw3jIWVs6QyJ72-ilNnv89EunzQPnw/s1600-h/collage-of-flowers.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 247px; height: 160px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJxS9EUlbC74nlvjHqnJGbljywi7zOlC7OEAQck8WPvcqmhrY8gTlO1sZh-w3-6_biY_DkirI80WEi829xn67B9vfLw3JXNB5-gUuJErSjGw3jIWVs6QyJ72-ilNnv89EunzQPnw/s200/collage-of-flowers.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356741166705530226" border="0" /></a><br />Here are the marigolds, pansies, miniature roses and impatients. This is why I get up in the morning, to see what they are doing! BIG FUN during coffee. La la la, I'm growing stuff...with my bare hands...la la laa.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Does it get any better than this? You think to yourself, "Prolly not," and yet we have not even discussed the tomato stand and herb garden. Have you ever read Stephen King's book, <span style="font-style: italic;">The Stand</span>? I have recreated this exciting last fight of humanity, as represented by vegetables and herbs. My tomato stand used to look like this:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCry0uu8sQu9gigD2jVUitSoEWPaueS8n1wDwH9HS3gfKT3YNbNCD67OgmlhY0b-P_VpfDGR8h_mkbFFSjej1T3ZRqz0OuBUnAcRq19Ecc2YFvo0ckDFspRxGn9AVSBqY4-s9k7A/s1600-h/tomato+stand+first.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCry0uu8sQu9gigD2jVUitSoEWPaueS8n1wDwH9HS3gfKT3YNbNCD67OgmlhY0b-P_VpfDGR8h_mkbFFSjej1T3ZRqz0OuBUnAcRq19Ecc2YFvo0ckDFspRxGn9AVSBqY4-s9k7A/s200/tomato+stand+first.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356743988482271842" border="0" /></a>Once upon a time, this stand was a sparse lot of tomato plants with a small supply of natural light, and the plants were expected to grow upside down. To compensate for minimal light in the back, I handcrafted foil reflectors. They worked great until the plants took off like rockets and grew too close to the foil and started frying. I had to install a white light reflector (a/k/a "matte board"). Let's take a peek:<br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinQ-BAqRdMSgCPxkpX-hp3NfxlAKiZNss_IQIjbfCcvKE57vOP-5WXV7LaC9PPszyhdtqGX83gQA2MNSn4zsbP7Zx6oRjLuYKi8Qh7iBjQ1wkGt8Kq2tCBJbUVbakOs4Is2AQkKA/s1600-h/reflector.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinQ-BAqRdMSgCPxkpX-hp3NfxlAKiZNss_IQIjbfCcvKE57vOP-5WXV7LaC9PPszyhdtqGX83gQA2MNSn4zsbP7Zx6oRjLuYKi8Qh7iBjQ1wkGt8Kq2tCBJbUVbakOs4Is2AQkKA/s200/reflector.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356745214152731794" border="0" /></a>See how that works? I wonder how I found out about white light... Oh yes, I remember! It was on Goog, after I typed in "reflectors for plants" and came upon a golden cache of growing information supplied by pot farmers. Those people have a point, because I've already eaten the tomatoes growing on reflected light, while the tomato plants in the sun have yet to ripen real fruit. Yay for pot farmers! They knew that white relfects a full spectrum of joy!<br /><br /><br />Here is a photo to cherish, of the entire tomato stand and delicious herbs:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdEiuuwLbsN70aXW6np2rHsYhAHra3viis0csEGfChKg-hE2KlR459bIRpU7hBrzlEokkz1IVbPIPOD6xVkCOlG_yHhnuuyyw9mH-4nTR3k4ScWXq0SmG9rObm5vSli3UGnDozsg/s1600-h/tomato+stand2.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdEiuuwLbsN70aXW6np2rHsYhAHra3viis0csEGfChKg-hE2KlR459bIRpU7hBrzlEokkz1IVbPIPOD6xVkCOlG_yHhnuuyyw9mH-4nTR3k4ScWXq0SmG9rObm5vSli3UGnDozsg/s200/tomato+stand2.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356747750988804178" border="0" /></a>Look at that lusciousness! There are two tomato plants in conventional pots in the foreground, which are growing like cray-zay, but this stand is something I am proud of. It came with cheap plastic legs that bowed, and so I had to hammer in shower rods for support, to keep this thing from falling to it's death four stories below. More than one hundred pounds from that height means <span style="font-style: italic;">Mojopost </span>would have an extreme insurance liability. Boo! We hate liabilities! But we love growing our 'maters.<br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMSsZaaDaNZCE17jK83nmF1NRMRUqcXRXgtjQpUjir2BzHxa420YWgdq5Xcnl0z-UHVUV45-F1kYSPmGrhuX1Q7DO3p5UnwsYrwOC1hbq3dJYBrgggzLG2MHKmqHQZe3HuCrSt5g/s1600-h/tomato.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 141px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMSsZaaDaNZCE17jK83nmF1NRMRUqcXRXgtjQpUjir2BzHxa420YWgdq5Xcnl0z-UHVUV45-F1kYSPmGrhuX1Q7DO3p5UnwsYrwOC1hbq3dJYBrgggzLG2MHKmqHQZe3HuCrSt5g/s200/tomato.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356750432306124338" border="0" /></a>If you look closely, you will witness the wonder of green tomatoes on the vine. I love the anticipation. No less than one dozen 'maters are promising delicious salads in a few weeks, to go with my lettuce. As for that herb garden I mentioned, feast your eyes on the wonder of aromatic beauty...<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXdpDgbV0MFYOulIkvnsFbprw7Qc58eL4MZLMmzmArX1VqjfM59K5XFlL4SxHEKSzZdAio4QsHVCp6VlgXkWTq49oJWx3EblRH70ljAi36ij6f-Rg-fFx-04335KCjmOPouEB73w/s1600-h/herbs2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXdpDgbV0MFYOulIkvnsFbprw7Qc58eL4MZLMmzmArX1VqjfM59K5XFlL4SxHEKSzZdAio4QsHVCp6VlgXkWTq49oJWx3EblRH70ljAi36ij6f-Rg-fFx-04335KCjmOPouEB73w/s320/herbs2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5356751870936117138" border="0" /></a><br />What you cannot see, because of the intense foliage, is that nine cilantro plants are maturing between the lavender and basil. There is salsa in my future! I love this.<br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" height="16" width="125" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-38886921986888511502009-07-07T02:58:00.009-05:002009-07-07T03:44:52.907-05:00Mojopoll: Life's A Beach<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/%7Einnwigs/ImageArchive/DunesStatePark/IndianaDunes062-StatePark-Sunbathers-1958-SS.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 328px; height: 207px;" src="http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/%7Einnwigs/ImageArchive/DunesStatePark/IndianaDunes062-StatePark-Sunbathers-1958-SS.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The results from the last Mojopoll (What is your favorite time of day?) indicate chronic insomnia. Me too! At night I can turn off my filters and contaminate the Interwebs in peace. However, I also enjoy mornings because I don’t need much sleep. Like you, I am uncommunicative until I have coffee and the resulting bowel movement, but after that we can be friends again.<br /><br />The new poll (on the right) was inspired by a moron practicing Kung Phooey at the Indiana Dunes on Sunday. I’m going to call him Chi Chi the Cheetah, which may or may not mean he is directly related to this <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:TonyTheTiger/Antonio_Vernon">hot mess on Wikipedia</a>.<br /><br />Black belt? Are you shitting me?<br /><br />Chi Chi was working on his martial arts moves at the beach with props that included his Okinawan kobud weapons (nunchucks, as they say in junior high school), some knives and daggers. If he was any good I might have tipped him a fiver, but Chi Chi was all thumbs. He was smacking himself in the head, dropping stuff and tripping. The lifeguards were not concerned but – gee – I was. I’m weird like that, when clumsy poopheads are running full-tilt-boogie with sharp objects in their hands, while little babies are trying to build sandcastles.<br /><br />Obviously, I had to take a picture. Chi Chi hissed at me, but the other guy on Wikipedia says he likes audiences. On a <a href="http://www.tonythetiger.frih.net/index.html">related vanity website</a>, you can view videos.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyYq9nyW20uWCtaH2Ny_rxGzqZYHL5YLL-5KHaByYyGFaN2uFsCuPzXhsg3mKATc4kk4OH7v9cfCZtSlLmy2Zs0I7iqXgX3ieioU3bAERD7giYVua8RyyPCx_OqViotR7En-KSag/s1600-h/beach-douchebag.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 329px; height: 247px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyYq9nyW20uWCtaH2Ny_rxGzqZYHL5YLL-5KHaByYyGFaN2uFsCuPzXhsg3mKATc4kk4OH7v9cfCZtSlLmy2Zs0I7iqXgX3ieioU3bAERD7giYVua8RyyPCx_OqViotR7En-KSag/s320/beach-douchebag.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5355626989183126242" border="0" /></a>After the photo op, I asked a park cop if nunchucks and daggers were allowed on the beach. “Absolutely not!” she said. I pointed to Chi Chi and, eventually, a big fat park cop came by in a go-cart to shoo him away.<br /><br />According to Wiki some people feel it is important to be a “...freedom fighter who fights for the freedom of expression when and where the audience exists.” If he keeps throwing freedom around like that someone is going to lose an eye!<br /><br /><br /><br />I don’t know what is wrong with me. I never woke up one day and thought about working on my Black Mamba death squad moves on the shores of Lake Michigan. Usually I just bring snacks and tanning lotion.<br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" height="16" width="125" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-71435779728743286432009-07-03T01:28:00.010-05:002009-07-03T03:03:46.042-05:00A Happy Day In Americaland<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqBcVQYZDrRzgs86C5w41gCrz02L3zHf2B4mtv9hDTgmh-Txs_0Ku2jBfKQEZrnOOh7YI1v3YlEVepUrJ_ViUQOwN6XNqS-vc6JuvXexqBc7D9DDBRt7UORjqxeONPVrVIp3xxA/s1600-h/mojo-patriot.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 274px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWqBcVQYZDrRzgs86C5w41gCrz02L3zHf2B4mtv9hDTgmh-Txs_0Ku2jBfKQEZrnOOh7YI1v3YlEVepUrJ_ViUQOwN6XNqS-vc6JuvXexqBc7D9DDBRt7UORjqxeONPVrVIp3xxA/s320/mojo-patriot.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354131773380306418" border="0" /></a><span style="font-style: italic;">Mojopost</span> is taking a long weekend to partake of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YS8KQYCcqeE">US Independence Day festivities</a>. In my country, July 4th begins on the 3rd and ends on the 6th, so that all residents in the US will have an opportunity to celebrate our freedom from those limey Brits with poor dental hygiene. Whew - bullet dodged!<br /><br />This Independence Day has value-added significance in that US citizens will, for the first time ever, lustfully worship before a golden statue of our favorite unicorn, Pres. Barack Obama. There will be Kool-Aid, hopium and Hawaiian birth certificate dispensers on every corner! Rev. Wright, say AMEN before I pop!<br /><br />I will be celebrating Independence Day weekend at <a href="http://www.explorechicago.org/city/en/things_see_do/event_landing/special_events/mose/taste_of_chicago.html">Taste of Chicago</a>, checking out the 85th Army Band, and enjoying poop-your-pants-loud fireworks over Lake Michigan. After a little sleep, I’m going to the Indiana Dunes because it is one of the better places to be if one does not have an ocean handy while in the Midwest. If I see any Michael Jackson mourners in Gary, I’ll tell them you said “hi”.<br /><br />Let’s get this BBQ jacked up, kids. Hit me back with some of your favorite summertime songs.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">George Washington</span><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/sbRom1Rz8OA&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/sbRom1Rz8OA&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" height="16" width="125" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-88094203567680533742009-07-02T02:31:00.005-05:002009-07-02T10:57:12.975-05:00Moby Prick<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.treehugger.com/whale-jumping-out-of-water-01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 275px; height: 206px;" src="http://www.treehugger.com/whale-jumping-out-of-water-01.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Ug. I don’t even want to bring this up in a family-oriented blog but I must. I need to vent about my neighborhood non-bathing, muttering, crazy/scary guy who was playing with his bits and pieces at the bus stop the other day. We will call him Moby Prick.<br /><br />There I was, traveling in my car with goodwill ambassadors from another country. At the stoplight on the corner, Moby Prick was sitting on a bench inside of a bus shelter staring painfully, with animal longing, at a young lady seated to his left. She may have been 16 years old – maybe less. This could have been like any other day except for the fact that Moby was manipulating his <span style="font-style: italic;">region</span>, which was fully extended inside of his filthy sweatpants. It was rather obvious that he was setting up things for display, to catch the attention of the young lady.<br /><br />I don’t know how she kept her eyes fixed on the CVS sign across the street because the thing in Moby’s hand was epic. Like a monster! And what did I do? I split when the light changed.<br /><br />I’ve gone over a few heroic, righteous should-have scenarios in my head because I lost an opportunity when it presented itself. I’m mad that I didn’t do anything constructive the other day to help the girl at the bus stop. Moby Prick escaped and I am Ishmael.<br /><br />What would you have done differently? I’m sorry, but I just don’t see me calling 911 to report a homeless erection. If I see this guy again, and that is likely because he lives at that bus stop, is there something I can do when he Queequeg’s his harpoon?<br /><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" height="16" width="125" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-49216240386310529762009-06-29T15:54:00.002-05:002009-06-29T16:05:38.765-05:00Sorry I'm Late<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://francetravelandfood.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/chocolate-blog-300x300.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="http://francetravelandfood.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/chocolate-blog-300x300.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I've been tardy. I spent the weekend entertaining goodwill ambassadors from Venezuela, and they gave me chocolate! These people are, perhaps, my most favorite goodwill ambassadors in the history of ever. Not only did they arrive with candy, but there was coffee, too! Wheeee, I'm all kinds of buzzed!<br /><br />Therefore, this blog will be off-line until Thursday morning. Imma crash hard when the sugar wears off.<br /><br />See you!Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-81567593881606177442009-06-26T01:11:00.011-05:002009-06-26T01:54:40.033-05:00Live Blogging Live Coverage of Michael Jackson’s Death<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2cInzzCh8bzJOSly2CJ-E_TLKUKYYpleU3pP8Ho3iYf-Ape4WLdYA0tB9kd8zVFpLmf9V-CQngS0LBXyjh3duGqCcgfJJumezdvW8Jopw_CZGm-Q3Kj4VTClzKZCbcNm3WubR0g/s1600-h/michael-in-a-blender.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 132px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2cInzzCh8bzJOSly2CJ-E_TLKUKYYpleU3pP8Ho3iYf-Ape4WLdYA0tB9kd8zVFpLmf9V-CQngS0LBXyjh3duGqCcgfJJumezdvW8Jopw_CZGm-Q3Kj4VTClzKZCbcNm3WubR0g/s200/michael-in-a-blender.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5351518024527394482" border="0" /></a><br />If you thought you saw it all when Anna Nicole Smith died, think again!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6:20 PM</span>: B. just called to tell me Michael Jackson died. “He what?” Bad connection. “I said he died!” I asked her if it was suicide but she it was his heart. We both wondered if he would need embalming. Isn’t that awful? Us, I mean. I turned on CNN and they tried to play a clip of MJ singing <span style="font-style: italic;">We Are The World</span>, but it's not MJ - it's Stevie Wonder. Cut to commercial.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">6:25 PM</span>: Larry King gave me terrible heebie jeebies. He said that he had to throw away a slide show presentation of Farrah Fawcett because MJ was the bigger scoop. “That’s life in the news business!” Lar, I think you didn’t mean it that way but I don’t know you. Maybe you meant to sound like a creepy old scab? I learn so much about people when there’s a crisis. Now we know why Lar has been divorced 85 times.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:01 PM</span>: <span style="font-style: italic;">Entertainment Tonight</span> is airing the scraps of Larry’s Farrah presentation. I got through 30 seconds of it because the John Tesh-inspired score inspired the sensation of a hair caught on my epiglottis. My gag reflex is way too sensitive. I have the hardest time brushing my teeth in the morning, too. For tooth brushing, I hang in there. Not for <span style="font-style: italic;">ET</span>. Poor Farrah.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">7:26 PM</span>: All of the news stations are airing clips of Michael performing with the Jackson 5 singing <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DYgf_Cl59o"><span style="font-style: italic;">I Want You Back</span></a>. Michael is wearing a turquoise jumpsuit with gold lame trim. It’s hard enough being a kid but 70’s fashions were especially cruel to entertainers. And so were their abusive stage fathers. Hey Joe, why is Michael missing a tooth?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">8:01 PM</span>: Larry King wants everyone to know he will broadcast twice this evening, instead of just once. He mentions this 3 times. A panel has been assembled to comment including Jeffery Toobin, a journalist who once interviewed MJ. He looks like he could puke. Someone asks Jeffery about Michael and he basically said that everyone around Michael was a vile, pig-like whoremonger and they should all roast in hell. Then he disappeared. Bravo, sir!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:30 PM</span>: TMZ.com broke the news about MJ, and the story about them scooping real journalists is on Yahoo!, CNN and ABC. Is this anything we need to high 5?<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">9:31 PM</span>: Over it. Done. Had enough. I called Mom, who is TV-less since the digital conversion, and she asked me about today's news. “Michael Jackson died, Ma.” “Did he kill himself?” she asked. “I wondered the same thing, but no – it was his heart. Maybe pills. That’s what his lawyer said.” She loves <span style="font-style: italic;">ET</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">Access Hollywood</span> more than anyone I know. Mom has many questions that I am (sadly) able to answer.<br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" border="0" height="16" width="125" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23170863.post-19278979238652666322009-06-25T00:52:00.008-05:002009-08-11T09:28:58.433-05:00Belated Father's Day Greetings To Gov. Mark Sanford<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.scgovernor.com/NR/rdonlyres/21D988FC-0577-41A8-A3FD-965A7D45E029/0/family.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 307px; height: 144px;" src="http://www.scgovernor.com/NR/rdonlyres/21D988FC-0577-41A8-A3FD-965A7D45E029/0/family.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Belated Father’s Day greetings to <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/06/24/AR2009062403274.html?hpid=opinionsbox1">Gov. Mark Sanford</a> (R-SC). He could not celebrate with his four children over the weekend because he was out of town, working the creases out of his chorizo in Argentina. With his mistress. I was so surprised! A Republican with a woman?<br /><br />-- -- --<br /><br />Wait a hot minute! Isn’t this the same guy who had so much to say about Bill Clinton’s nasty business? Yes, he said:<br /><blockquote>“I think it would be much better for the country and for him personally (to resign). I come from the business side. If you had a chairman or president in the business world facing these allegations, he’d be gone.” [Sanford on Clinton, The Post and Courier, 9/12/98]</blockquote>Karma works in mysterious ways. Without Karma I would have never known that the road to FAIL begins somewhere in the Appalachian mountains, which are connected to Argentina. Who knew?<br /><br />Mrs. Sanford, I know a great lawyer. Don’t even bother yourself with that phony <span style="font-style: italic;">stand by your man</span> silliness. Do the right thing – beat his ass on live TV.<br /><br />What is it with US governors and their philandering pee-pees? If I didn’t know better, I’d say that Sarah Palin hired a private investigator and is eliminating her 2012 rivals one at a time.<br /><br />Check out this clip of Sanford's confession. The women in the background make it all worthwhile.<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0I0HyZsUyIE&hl=en&fs=1&"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0I0HyZsUyIE&hl=en&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><!-- AddThis Button BEGIN --><br /><a href="http://www.addthis.com/bookmark.php" onclick="addthis_url = location.href; addthis_title = document.title; return addthis_click(this);" target="_blank"><img src="http://s9.addthis.com/button1-addthis.gif" alt="Bookmark and Share" width="125" border="0" height="16" /></a> <script type="text/javascript">var addthis_pub = 'mojopo';</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://s9.addthis.com/js/widget.php?v=10"></script><br /><!-- AddThis Button END -->Mojopohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10757696568553105239noreply@blogger.com7