Many of you are not shopping this year because of this busted flat in Baton Rouge economic disaster. Which means you might be missing holiday music at the mall. Oh, the piped-in joy of Christmas songs while you run over Wal-Mart employees to buy Playstations...
This is my list. I stand by it 100%. Hope you like!
Alvin And The Chipmunks - The Christmas Song
What is there not to love about chipmunk voices? Itssoeffingadorable! I'm into the song for the harmonic genius that is, "Me? I want a HUUUU-LA HOOOOOP." I could listen to 1,000 hours of radio static, as long as I get to hear the hula hoop line.
Cocteau Twins - Frosty The Snowman
Freaky freaky and freaky! It's like Frosty on Xanax with a heroin-fairy singing lead. English is not her first language. Wot? Zactly.
Spice Girls- Christmas Wrapping
A nice cover of The Waitresses. With a disco back beat and better production values. YAY YAY YAY!
Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas?
Boy George weeps for the snowless Christmas plains of Africa, Bono cries for starving children and George Michael pulls his homosexual groin hitting the high notes. It ain't snowing in Africa, you cracker. Christmas is a world of dread of fear for Band Aid. Tonight, thank God it's them instead of you...
Snow Miser - Heat Miser
Stop animation genius combined with big gay show tunes. On one hand you have the Snow Miser, who is freezing (brrrr!). And then there is Heat Miser, who is from hell. Too much!
José Feliciano - Feliz Navidad
No Christmas song reminds me more of leisure suits, the swinging 70's and Pacers more than this. Feliz Navidad makes me wants to eat hayacas and hand out Advent Calendars to little kids.
David Bowie and Bing Crosby - The Little Drummer Boy
Oh, this tales me back to my footie pajamas and Swiss Miss instant cocoa. I tear up for every pa-rum-pah-pum-pum. In this video, David Bowie lives down the road from you. Which means you live near a Methadone clinic. Good luck on your sobriety. Every day is new!
Dr. Elmo - Grandma Got Run-over By a Reindeer
What did you expect - It Came Upon A Midnight Clear? You can hear that at the grocery store. This is art, not shopping for bacon and paper towels!
Have some suggestions? Let 'er rip. If you post anything related to Mannheim Steamroller, you will be deleted.
Merry Christmas!
P.S.: If anyone can score "Here Comes X-Mas/When Southern Bells Ring" by the Judybats, let me know. I can't find it anywhere and I love it much. Thanks!
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