Nurse Sonia and The Doddering Old Fool

I'm watching Sen. Jeff Sessions of Alabama grilling Supreme Court Justice nominee Sonia Sotomayor. One thing to keep in mind about Jeff is that he's a smoking anus. Not kind of, is. I don't mean that he smokes, but I do mean that his mouth is an ass and his head is full of gas. When he speaks you can smell it.

You have to understand - Jeff Sessions could not become a federal judge in 1986 because it was determined that he harbored "gross racial insensitivity" towards African-Americans. That's a nice way of saying "Jeff loved him some KKK." How ironic is it that this fathead is parsing the definition of "impartiality" and "prejudice" with a Latin woman?

Sonia is trying to explain to Jeff that he is taking her comments out of context. No matter how many times she explains herself, Jeff can’t wrap his mind around it. He sounds like an Alzheimer's patient who is angry at his shoelaces, and she looks like the nurse who is trying to find him some Velcro fasteners. It takes patience.

One other thing: Every time Jeff time says Puerto Rican, it sounds like "porto reecan". It's on my last nerve.

Oh great. Here comes Sen. Orrin Hatch. Is it time for Bingo and a stool softener yet?

Sonia Sotomayor For SCOTUS

Sonia Sotomayor is bringing sexy back to the Supreme Court of The United States. SCOTUS nominee Sonia From The Block has dusted J-Lo in the battle for The Most Important Latina From The Bronx Ever. Viva Boricua!

In her speech with Pres. Obama yesterday Sotomayor thanked her mother, which is the most efficient path between two points (Latin Americans and Southern people). In the US, being a mother-lover goes a long way. It’s true! Even the cable newsies cut out most of Sotomayor’s presser for their sound bites, as if to bring us a modern day pieta via the 1/9 train from Netherland Ave. and 5,000th St.

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Tone deaf Republicans, eyes watering with the scent of bullshit and painted flat white, are working overtime to cast Sotomayor as an angry maid who used Affirmative Action to steal jobs away from conservative judges. Absolutely no one was surprised by their latest effort to shoot themselves in the face on a national stage. I think they’re just jealous because they didn’t find Sotomayor and her mother first. In a parallel universe the Repubs could have had her at hola, because Sotomayor is no liberal. Not now anyway.

It’s hard to tell with these SCOTUS judges. One minute they are Bush-approved conservatives, like David Souter, and the next minute they’re up Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s robe, smoking pot and eating Tofutti. As far as I can tell Sotomayor goes both ways, but that still makes her a lib by default. If her mother doesn’t care, why should you?

Don't forget to vote for your favorite alternative SCOTUS judges, on the right!