Supreme Court Justice David Souter is retiring. Find out what his neighbors are saying.
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Eric Schulman: Dave’s retiring? Oh wow, I’m so happy for him. We started working together around the same time. When he lived on Elmwood I was living on Peachtree, so we used to carpool. He was thinking about quitting when the Gore v. Bush thing came up, because we both knew Bush was a retarded moron. But I told him to hang in there. Why would you dump your pension for Bush? That’s crazy talk.
Kaneasha de Palo: Oh my Lord – is he OK? I just saw him last week at the Town Hall. He was paying his water bill. I thought he looked fine! I don’t think he has any kids to look out for him, either. David never got married. Some people in the neighborhood talk about that, but I never paid attention. His lawn was always so pleasant to look at, you know? And he’s very well groomed. Naturally, people made assumptions. Not me. I think he’s a very nice man and I hope he enjoys his retirement.
Pat Corker: You know what this means, right? President Muslim is going to hit the Hopium pipe and pick a new judge. I can see the ad on Craigslist now. “Wanted: Trans-gendered abortionist with a law degree to clean out my unicorn’s stable.” This country is going to hell.
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