Wise Latina Festival 2009

Welcome to Day 45 of the Wise Latina Festival! Wise Latina organizers would like to thank members of the Republican Wise Latina Fan Club for promoting Wise Latinas every 30 minutes, with the exception of lunch breaks and extramarital affairs. I would like to nominate Sen. John Cornyn of Texas for Miss Wise Latina 2009. The winner of this crown will be entitled to wear Sonia Sotomayor as a hat for an entire year.

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Over the past 45 days I have enjoyed a variety of wise Latina products. Half baked, steamed, battered and fried.

At first I didn’t understand Republican’s fascination with the subject. Then I got aggravated because it kept coming up. Like many people, I came to the conclusion that it would be a good idea to connect a copper wire to my car battery and bite down as hard as I could. When the embers of my former self were extinguished, I realized that the Wise Latina Litmus Test is really the only test that matters when selecting a Supreme Court nominee.

This is my life now. I have decided to stay on with the festival and travel to cities near you, where the lot of us will sleep in tents and think of new ways to ask the same old questions. If anyone would like to stage an intervention, I don’t think it’s too late.