At last, the Daily Beast Cheat Sheet condensed, for your busy schedule. It’s quicker, that’s why.
Al Qaeda Warns Obama
Ayman al-Zawahiri, the grand poobah of Al Qaeda, sent a mix-tape to Al Jazeera and guess what? He made a gangsta rap about President Elect Obama. A sample: “Bitches and ho’s/And House Negroes/F*ck Obama and the rest/Got my suicide vest!” See, Republicans? I told you he wasn’t rolling with A-Q. Whatever man, whatever.
Dow Plummets Below 8,000
We don’t need an economic wizard anymore. We need a diving bell!
Who Started The California Wildfires?
Ten 18 to 22-year-olds started the damn fire. They thought they put out their bong, but NO. Yes, they are going to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Down With The Auto Bailout!
Word to the coddled rich and oblivious CEO’s: Never, ever land in DC on a private jet when you’re trying to shake down some moist, delicious corporate welfare dollars. May I get you a warm towel and salty nuts to shove up yourself sideways, sir?
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Also, The Beast passed by something very gay and very important today. Again. Why? No on Prop 8 is the new black, Tina. For some weird reason, Stonewall doesn’t seem that long ago anymore either. Dream it, be it.
Top Court in California Will Review Proposition 8
What is it about civil rights and love that Prop 8 hates so much? Is all of that freedom and compassion on your last nerve, 8? In any case, a mobilized, committed and fiercely proud group is ready to kick some hater ass. Go California!
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