Guess who Barack Obama is going to be for Halloween? Sarah Hussein Palin, that’s who! Happy Halloween, folks. I am waiting for a scary story today. Sarah Palin was supposed to release her medical records earlier this week, but she still hasn’t forked ‘em over yet. My clock says it is 1:00 AM in Chicago on Friday. If anything leaks overnight, please accept my apologies.
I wonder if she poops her pants every time she sneezes? That’s not a huge problem, if you think about it. She could have a colostomy bag or diapers and everything could be contained. I could live with that.
Maybe she’s colorblind? She could mistake the ginormous red 3:00 AM phone for an environmentally friendly green phone, which she would never answer. Not good.
What if she has a learning disability? It would explain why she sounds so bug-fucking wrong every time she goes off the scripted path. That, my friends, is a problem.
On the other hand… What if Andrew Sullivan has a point? What if Sarah Palin has been pregnant four times, instead of five?
Frightening.
No…Wire…Hangers…Ever
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