Friday, May 18, 2007

Amy Winehouse

For your weekend viewing pleasure, I offer two Amy Winehouse videos. Neither of these videos is of exceptional quality, but they are extraordinary songs by a legend in the making.


"I Heard it Through The Grapevine" (with Paul Weller)

Thursday, May 17, 2007

That's Freakin' Weird Day - Volume 2

[UPDATE: May 20, 2007 - The photograph of naked skydivers posted here last week, the one that used to be up there has been deemed "inappropriate". Sorry!]

Today is “That’s Freakin’ Weird Day”. For those of you new to this blog, TFWD is a celebration of the more eccentric components of the human condition, and the often freaky world we live in.

Come let me show you all about TFWD! But first, TFWD begins with thanks to my Guardian Angel, Schlitzie The Pinhead. Schlitzie, I love you much!


The following video is nothing short of inventive. Click to play...



What do you get when you fall in love? According to a new health report, you might get oral cancer. OK, maybe you’re not “in love”. Let’s say you like someone enough to provide him or her with oral pleasure. What if that person has human papilloma virus (HPV)? HPV is a common sexually transmitted disease known to cause cervical cancers. HPV is also linked to cancers of the mouth and anus, and this disease is not preventable by wearing a condom.

Smoking, drinking, taking drugs, getting a tan, giving and/or receiving oral sex… That sounds like a cool weekend, doesn’t it? Cancer wants to ruin your weekend plans and make you die!

Fuck cancer! There is a vaccine for HPV. It is called Gardasil. This vaccine is recommended for girls and women, aged 9 – 26. It is best for pre-adolescent girls to receive this vaccine, before they have ever been exposed to HPV. Makes perfect sense to me.


Meet Brenda. She hates her neighbor, is a bigot and, and… well – you have to see what she does on the evening news. This video is titled “Crazy Acid Throwing Woman”.

Thorazine couldn’t hurt, is what I am saying, Brenda.


While looking up medical mysteries, I happened to find a small handful of articles about The Blue Fugates of Troublesome Creek. You can read about them here, here, and here .

Fugate kinfolk in Hazard, Kentucky, carry a genetic predisposition for methemoglobinemia. Methemoglobinemia is a rare, inherited blood disorder that results from excessive levels of methemoglobin in the blood. Too much methemoglobin makes people appear blue - as blue as a bruised plum. Yes, the Fugates are blue, and I am not talking about their emotional state! This condition is most prevalent in families who practice inbreeding.

The Blue Fugates are extremely private, it is said, and they do not wish to receive unwanted attention from curiosity seekers with cameras. Therefore, I cannot provide you with a photographic representation of a Blue Fugate, but I found an artist’s rendition (based on 100% speculation):

Have a happy TFWD!

Monday, May 14, 2007

The Brakes - All Night Disco Party

Today I am in love with "All Night Disco Party" by The Brakes. It is a super non-stop, uber-rocking ear worm guaranteed to please. Even tone-deaf people can sing along with The Brakes and enjoy maximum musical pleasure.

Croque monsieur, croque madame!

How To Poop On "Ulysses" by James Joyce

1. Visit your local library and check out "Ulysses" by James Joyce. Do not buy this book.

2. Attempt to have an open mind, and remember that many critics love this book, and that otherwise intelligent people call it a masterpiece.

3. By page 12, you begin to notice that the critics who love this book are huge fans of plot-free gibberish. The people who like this book probably also enjoy sniffing fragrant bicycle seats, use the word "quasi" too much, and get on everyone else's nerves.

4. Put down the book, and stop to consider why it took Mr. Joyce seven years to write "Ulysses". Come to the conclusion that it took Mr. Joyce so long because he wrote this book by pissing sentences in the snow. The book is rather long, so - call me crazy - I'm guessing that he had a lot to drink.

5. Pull down your pants, back up to "Ulysses" and poop all over it. Dare the library to make you pay for a new copy. The librarians replace "Ulysses" on their shelf with a roll of 2-ply toilet paper. Everyone agrees that it was a good idea.

I didn't like "Ulysses". It is a craptastic waste of trees. My brain bled trying to read this book, and I could not feel anything on my left side for months. After a year of physical therapy, I vowed to save the world from "Ulysses".

If I thought I could make this book feel pain, I would kick it in the crotch until it passed out. Would I really poop on this book if I could? Yes, I wouldn't hesitate.

Your Pal Mojopo
Reading all of the bad books so you won't have to.