"Who are you going to believe - Ashley Todd or your lying eyes?"
I just couldn't figure out how her eyeball wasn't swollen or purple. Maybe it's because I really got punched in the face and didn't fake it up with mascara?
With Election Day just around the corner, shamed Republicans have been eager to jump John McCain’s sinking ship to endorse Barack Obama. The movement began post-Palin and hit a peak when retired General Colin Powell offered his sound endorsement to the senator from Illinois last weekend. Even Scotty McClellan, former White House Press Secretary under Gee Dubya, is voting for the Big O.
Republicans are, therefore, desperate for social acceptance. In fact, the National Black Republican Association really wants you to believe that Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. was a Republican. Beyond the pandering tone of this proclamation is a stink so fierce that it makes my eyebrows melt.
What am I to think? Oh wait, I know: Republicans are willing to affirm a posthumous endorsement from MLK for Obama. Unfortunately, it feels like Republicans have rewritten history on a bathroom stall, as they squeeze John McCain through their puckered butt-cheeks. “For a Good Time Call Sarah Palin” is on the wall, too.
I’m going to go vote today – want to come? I’ll give you a ride.
With all of this talk about Barack Obama being a “socialist”, I just don’t know what to do with myself. Land sakes Sally, that reminds me of a few other socialists I know.
Here are my Top 5 Socialists In The History Of Ever:
SANTA CLAUS
A chronic redistributor of wealth. Delivers toys to all children, even kids who have parents that don’t read the Bible or work.
NORMA RAE
Union, schunion! It’s like they think they deserve a livable wage and bathroom breaks. Get back to work, Pinko!
What a hippy. The beard is the first clue. He was all like, “Rich people are going to have a hard-assed time getting to Heaven!,” and “Go in peace.” Did Jesus grow up in a commune or what? All that encouragement about low taxes, universal health care and spreading the wealth is suspect. Plus, he hung out with some sketchy people – some of them were homeless and had open sores.
CANADA
What a bunch of socialist-loving, poutine eating slobs. Everyone in Canada is forced to enjoy donuts, drink beer, and play hockey. What if they don’t feel like it? Too bad! For the last time, NO – you may not wage war and be a capitalist, and stop asking. Shut up and eat your cruller, eh!
COCA-COLA
Check out their theme song lyrics:
“I'd like to teach the world to sing In perfect harmony I'd like to buy the world a Coke And keep it company That's the real thing.”
In a Coca-Cola World, everyone is forced to sing the same song over and over. They would all live in the same bio-dome, eat the same food and absolutely no one gets ahead because they are forced to be equal. It’s sickening. You should write to them.
HAWAII (Mojopost) – Senator Barack Obama has revised his campaign schedule for this Thursday and Friday so he can visit his ailing grandmother, Madelyn Dunham, in Hawaii. Mrs. Dunham is 85 and gravely ill.
Obama’s supporters are proud of his decision to join his grandmother at her bedside, because that is what decent people do.
In his absence, Obama’s surrogates will make telephone calls, motivate their friends, deliver speeches, upload videos, contribute to his campaign and send their well wishes to his family during this difficult time. Neighbors help out neighbors.
Tina Fey As Sarah Palin finally met The Real Sarah Palin on a recent episode of SNL. Trainwreckalicious, baby. Here are two vids, comments follow:
From the “Weekend Update” segment:
Who is the real Sarah Palin? She’s no Tina Fey, senator.
Tina As Sarah is a cultural phenomenon. She’s funny, likable, and accessible and never poops on a line - Tina As Sarah nails her jokes. The Real Sarah, in comparison, is awkward and out of her element – as much as she is on the campaign trail. All Sarah really has to do is kind of show up and do the chicken-neck. It’s so bad that it’s good. Is that what being a meth addict is like? If so, now I understand.
But hay – that’s just me blowing moose-burgers out of my skirt. What do I know? Tell me what you think about the Real Sarah Palin. Or Tina Fey. You make good points and I'm paying attention.
I would give just about anything to find out what transpired between Tina and Sarah before the show and after. If there is a book about it, let me know because I’ve got Amazon loaded on my browser and my debit card in hand. Must have scoopage!
For more SNL discussions about The Real Sarah Palin, you can visit the SNL forum here.
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