Saturday, October 18, 2008

Confessions Of A Tooth Fairy

Something off-topic today. One kept the money, the other wouldn't take the tooth.

Confessions Of A Toothfairy

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Friday, October 17, 2008

Keep Running For The Finish Line

How many times have to had to go to work on a Friday, expected to leave at 5:00 but you ended up working overtime because the poop hit the fan at 4:30? You didn't leave before your job was finished, did you? Me too. Right on. Check out Barack Obama:

You might not be able to see it in the video, but those people in New Hampshire were standing in the rain. And yet they came, and they stood their ground. They did not give an inch and neither will we. Volunteer, if you can. IT MATTERS!

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Thursday, October 16, 2008

Obama Wins The Final Debate; Grampy McNasty Is All Kinds Of Angry

John McCain is angry, hurt, angry and most of all, A-N-G-R-Y. In a particularly inspired round of poor judgment, he wore his contempt for Barack Obama on his sleeve, sneered, belittled and condescended his way through the final presidential debate. Obama focused on acting like a president.

John McCain is just so...angry. Arr! He kept swinging at the air like a drunken sailor. Every time he threw a punch, he lost his balance and fell over. After two years of campaigning, McCain still has no idea what to do with the economy or anything else. Oh yeah - get this: his health care policy is really easy to sum up (“piss off”) and his running mate’s foreign policy experience relies on her ability to see Russia from her house. It’s like he doesn’t even care.

McCain has spent big honking piles of GOP cash to sneer about some former terrorist in Chicago. Grampy tried to play Six Degrees of Separation and tack this guy to Obama, but it turns out no one cares. Bigger fish to fry, apparently. How did that investment on terror work out for you, Senator? DING DING DING, and win a prize if you said crappy.

Also – and this one really was a scream – McCain said that Democrats are facilitating the biggest case of voter fraud ever. Something about some nutty group called ACORN, and it amounts to jack squat. Voter fraud? Worst ever? Are you serious. Jesus H. Stolen Election By Dubya Christ! I will say this – McCain’s balls are so big that he needs a wheelbarrow to cart them around. It’s not like that’s a selling point, but still. Good luck with those immeasurable balls, sir.

McCain brought up a story about Joe The Plumber (no relation to Bob The Builder). Joe The Plumber this, Joe The Plumber that. McCain brought up Joe The Plumber so many times, in so many weird ways, that it became clear Joe The Plumber is actually a voice a McCain’s head urging him to go sick on Warshington with a hatchet. We need to call the cops before he hurts somebody. Seriously. Joe The Plumber must be stopped!

As for Obama – well, I’m in the bag for him. 100%. After tonight, I tilted his Kool-Aid machine upwards and poured it over my head. I am soaking in it, is what I am saying. Obama has actual ideas and made sense, and really – given the alternative – my choice is clear. I’ll take a message of hope and integrity over a nut with sharp objects any day of the week. I don’t know why such a wonderful, considerate, intelligent and decent man actually wants to run this country, considering the shape we are in, and please sir, do it. We should be so lucky.

A great post-debate analysis is one click away. Check the latest CNN polls about the debate here.

McCain Sucks

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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Presidential Debate Smackdown Game

HOFSTRA UNIVERSITY, HEMPSTEAD, NY - Tune in Wednesday evening for the final presidential debate between Barack Obama and John McCain. While you’re there, enjoy a game with your friends and family. Here are the rules:


Every time John McCain mentions Bill Ayers, slap the nearest Pinko to your left.

Every time Barack Obama says “more of the same”, find the oldest person in your group, forcefully remove their dentures and throw them out the window.

Every time John McCain says “my friends”, grab the tongue of the person to your right and twist.

Every time Barack Obama smiles at a bad McCain analogy, pretend you are Moe from The Three Stooges, yell “WOOB WOOB WOOB” and invite your neighbor to punch you in the face.

Every time John McCain mentions terrorism, set off an M-80 in the toilet and run like hell.

Every time Barack Obama brings up the economy, find an MBA in your group and punch them in the neck.

If Republican cronyism comes up, go hog wild and beat the crap out of anything you can reach.

When in doubt, Primal Scream.

For other debate related games click here, and here.

LL Cool J – Mama Said Knock You Out*

*Alecia, remember when we met LL and he was so pretty? Me too.

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Monday, October 13, 2008

Rachel Maddow - McCain's "Respectful" Campaign And Grand Old Panic

Rachel Maddow (MSNBC) had a terrific program Monday night. Keith Olbermann wishes he was so cool.

First up: McCain's "Respectful" Campaign?

Next, a delightful exchange between Rachel and David Frum, Gee Dubya's former speechwriter. Hang on, - it gets bumpy when Frum decides to be a condescending prick. Oh no he di-int. Yes he did. Go Rachel!

Updates and comments later.

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BOO! Halloween Countdown

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year. If I catch anyone trying to ruin it handing out Bible tracts and pennies, I’m going to send a Facebook group to your house armed with eggs and garbage. The side of your house will sound like a war zone. Wouldn’t it be easier to hand out some candy corn and tiny candy bars? Here are some spooky links to get you in the mood:

The Dead Pool
– Pick some famous people you think are going to die soon. Whoever gets the most right wins.

Extreme Pumpkins – Check out the latest, most technologically advanced carved pumpkins ever invented by human beings from Earth.

The Politics of Halloween – Obama masks are outselling McCain masks.

Ghost Hunters (Sci-Fi Channel) – Tune in October 15th to see Marjim Manor, a haunted winery near the town where I grew up! Must see.

The Bell Witch of Tennessee – …will make you scared. Don’t read this alone.

Zombie – How to make a proper zombie.


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