Thursday, October 16, 2008

Obama Wins The Final Debate; Grampy McNasty Is All Kinds Of Angry

John McCain is angry, hurt, angry and most of all, A-N-G-R-Y. In a particularly inspired round of poor judgment, he wore his contempt for Barack Obama on his sleeve, sneered, belittled and condescended his way through the final presidential debate. Obama focused on acting like a president.

John McCain is just so...angry. Arr! He kept swinging at the air like a drunken sailor. Every time he threw a punch, he lost his balance and fell over. After two years of campaigning, McCain still has no idea what to do with the economy or anything else. Oh yeah - get this: his health care policy is really easy to sum up (“piss off”) and his running mate’s foreign policy experience relies on her ability to see Russia from her house. It’s like he doesn’t even care.

McCain has spent big honking piles of GOP cash to sneer about some former terrorist in Chicago. Grampy tried to play Six Degrees of Separation and tack this guy to Obama, but it turns out no one cares. Bigger fish to fry, apparently. How did that investment on terror work out for you, Senator? DING DING DING, and win a prize if you said crappy.

Also – and this one really was a scream – McCain said that Democrats are facilitating the biggest case of voter fraud ever. Something about some nutty group called ACORN, and it amounts to jack squat. Voter fraud? Worst ever? Are you serious. Jesus H. Stolen Election By Dubya Christ! I will say this – McCain’s balls are so big that he needs a wheelbarrow to cart them around. It’s not like that’s a selling point, but still. Good luck with those immeasurable balls, sir.

McCain brought up a story about Joe The Plumber (no relation to Bob The Builder). Joe The Plumber this, Joe The Plumber that. McCain brought up Joe The Plumber so many times, in so many weird ways, that it became clear Joe The Plumber is actually a voice a McCain’s head urging him to go sick on Warshington with a hatchet. We need to call the cops before he hurts somebody. Seriously. Joe The Plumber must be stopped!

As for Obama – well, I’m in the bag for him. 100%. After tonight, I tilted his Kool-Aid machine upwards and poured it over my head. I am soaking in it, is what I am saying. Obama has actual ideas and made sense, and really – given the alternative – my choice is clear. I’ll take a message of hope and integrity over a nut with sharp objects any day of the week. I don’t know why such a wonderful, considerate, intelligent and decent man actually wants to run this country, considering the shape we are in, and please sir, do it. We should be so lucky.

A great post-debate analysis is one click away. Check the latest CNN polls about the debate here.

McCain Sucks

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Your friend, Rusty said...

I loved the whole post; but this one was my favorite line, "no relation to Bob The Builder"

Minnie-sota said...

Hahaha, okay, I watched a Popeye cartoon after the debate last night. I'm positive someone is selling "Joe the Plumber" tee shirts right this very minute. Probably some banker who lost his/her job.

Anonymous said...

Joe's real name is 'Samuel'.

McCain was on speed. Imagine that, an old man eatin' donuts, drinkin' Coke and poppin' speed, day in, day out.
Say hello to Preznut Palin.

More of what John Sydney McCain III doesn't want you to know:


Anonymous said...

I think the real turning point was Roe V Wade. It shows a fundamental difference between the 2 candidates. It made McCain look even creepier if that's possible.... "I'm a federalist". Well big fucking deal Johnny. Roe V Wade has been a law since 1973. I fought long and hard for that law. And Grampy McCain and his cronies want to overturn this important law. I hope they all burn in hell!!!


Anonymous said...

Financial advice for "Joe the Plumber".

Get an accountant.
Incorporate your business.
Structure your income to be less than $250k.
Structure your net profits to the corporation to be less than $250k by using the deductions of your employees, parts, expenses and other business deductions.
Then you're making $500k a year and you're rich, Joe.
And if you can't do that then you're a very bad businessman and should work for someone else, or just suck it up big boy and pay your fair share of taxes.


LadyFoemaka said...

I'm definitely with you on this one Mojo. I watched the debates last night while the little guy watched Ironman. To me, McCain seemed like a little kid. I was so pissed when they posed the question about the "negativity" in the campaigns. McCain reminded me of a little child. Obama just kept trying to get back to the issues at hand, but McCain kept nagging about things that didn't even matter. I was greatly annoyed. You're right, we should be so lucky.

Mojopo said...

Joe The Plumber is not licensed and maybe he really isn't a plumber.

He's related to the Charles Keating family (of Keating 5 fame). Also, it appears that he might not be registered to vote, according Teh Interwebs.

Yvette said...

Joe the Plumber really got his 15 minutes of fame. I bet he'll write a book and get his story told on Lifetime.

Mojopo said...

Joe the Plumber should have a TV show with Sarah P. Oh, I'm writing it now...

Anonymous said...

As per the "uncoached, totally honest working stiff" Joe Da Plumber, yes the family ties, or should we say family skeletons are coming to light:

"I guess it's no wonder John McCain was so happy to use Joe the Plumber as a debate prop last night -- he's a partisan Republican who also happens to be a member of McCain's old friends, the Keating family."

"Turns out that Joe Wurzelbacher from the Toledo event is a close relative of Robert Wurzelbacher of Milford, Ohio. Who’s Robert Wurzelbacher? Only Charles Keating’s son-in-law and the former senior vice president of American Continental, the parent company of the infamous Lincoln Savings and Loan. The now retired elder Wurzelbacher is also a major contributor to Republican causes giving well over $10,000 in the last few years."

Mojopo said...

Everyone has such interesting comments. I will say though - everything might not be as it seems with Joe.

Anonymous - if you're out there, we need to be reminded that Joe Da Plumber might not be related to a Keating. I dig some digging, and it's not clear that there is any relationship at all. BUT...if you Google Joe's real name, Keating comes up. Even if Joe is not related to a Keating, it's not reflecting well on Mccain. It is unfortunate that McCain's campaign missed this gaffe (again) as well, because they do not vet info properly. Almost never.

That said - whoever Joe is related to isn't important. Joe is behind on his taxes, he earns dog crap and he never really intended to buy a plumbing business in the first place - the whole thing is sad. It's all a gimmick, Joe's a plant and how pitiful.

Minnie-sota said...

All I know is that Joe the Plumber makes more money than me, which makes me wonder if I should have gone to trade school.

Mojopo said...

Yup, maybe I would have been good at heating and cooling. I dont know! I might never know. Good point, Minnie.