Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Hugo Chavez Is A Butthorn
Which would you rather – a raging herpes infection or Hugo Chavez as president? Each carries a life sentence with no known cure. As a confirmed pinko liberal, I feel that it is my duty to be honest. When I say that Venezuela's president, Ooogo, is a incompetent butthorn, I really mean it. And how.
Think I’m kidding? That’s all right. Be your own judge and check out this enlightening PBS program, The Hugo Chavez Show.
Ooogo loves TV. He goes on TV for hours at a time to fanny-smack his underlings and rant like a paranoid cokehead. I hate cokeheads. They never shut up.
Under Ooogo, VZ has one of the highest crimes rates in the Americas. If you’re looking to be murdered, relived of your jewelry or to enjoy an afternoon carjacking, perhaps you should consider visiting Caracas? Don’t forget your flak jacket and armored vehicle, kids!
People in VZ cannot eat petroleum, so they enjoy frequent food shortages. During their downtime, Venezuelans dodge kidnappers. A corrupt bureaucracy is in place for entertainment purposes. My, how exciting!
Is it going to take another lungful of tear gas to change things?
I’m in the US. We finally managed to dump our Dubya to elect Barack Obama. God knows we have some lazy, uninvolved people in this country. If we can get a decent leader, considering our average IQ, surely VZ can get their act together, too? A girl can dream. Good luck, Venezuelans. I’m on your side.