Tea and Nonsense

I’ve been out of the loop for a while. Can someone tell me why Rush Limbaugh shaved his special place and staged pervert rallies across the nation? I kept turning off the evening news every time I heard “tea bagging” because my mother was in the room.

I heard the Obama family got a dog. The cashier at Dollar General said it was a Kennedy. “Their dog is a Kennedy?” I asked. “No, their dog was from Ted Kennedy and it isn’t even from a shelter. It’s WRONG.” Jesus Christ. When an old guy with brain cancer gives someone a puppy the correct response is “thank you”. The next thing I know, the cashier was bagging my greeting cards with the ice cream and ruining everything. How ignorant.

I caught the tail end of Obama’s key party in Trinidad with Latin leaders. I think Hugo Chavez is a nutter and a gasbag as much as anybody, but I do realize the merits of shaking the guy’s hand in front of the press. Hugo makes Obama look so much taller in photographs.

You know what else? Sitting in my Dad’s Vibe and listening to NPR was easy on my eyes. I was chock full of breaking news alerts that went untended in my inbox for three months, so I wiped out almost everything. It felt awesome.

What else did I miss? Is Octo-Mom really La Toya Jackson?