Last week’s poll results are in. I asked you if you got along with your neighbors. Most of you love your neighbors so much that you would provide them with an alibi. “Oh, my neighbors are SO COOL. Dude, you have no idea!” In second place was, “Those people are the most annoying people in the world. They can’t even blow their soup without getting it in their eyes!” Well fuck them anyhow. While we’re at it, fuck your cool neighbors, too. Why don’t you all just trade wives now and get it over with? I came here to see a smackdown and all I got was kumbaya at the block party. What a rip-off!
People, I don’t think you quite understand what is going on. This is the last credible day of cynicism you can enjoy for a long, long time because it is George Dubya’s last day in office. After Monday people are going to expect a little bit of dignity from your direction now and then. Adult behavior even.
For eight years we have enjoyed feeling morally and intellectually superior to this guy. After today you can kiss that shit good-bye! The first MBA president, huh? What a stroke of anti-genius that was. I'll never get his stain out of my better angels.
It's a good thing you elected Barack Obama and his unicorn. He is smarter than us all and his kids are much better looking than yours (and more well behaved). What does this mean? We are all being taken down a peg come Tuesday, that’s what. Suck it!
It’s Inauguration Week in the US and we need to butter up our handsome Obama because he is not like Dubya at all. Obama seems to like responsibility and is immune to our bloggy condescension. Call me crazy, but I like that in a president. Without a hint of cynicism in my tone, here is a new poll - 10 Things I Like About Barack Obama As President. Check your opinions on the right. Multiple choice - select as many answers as you need to feel clean.
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