Friday, December 12, 2008

AMBIVIUM



















Are you unemployed? Feeling anxious about the economy? Are you frequently sleepless?

We all have our challenges in life. You are not alone.

AMBIVIUM combines the soothing effects of Valium and Ambien, so that you won’t feel so bad about sleeping all day.

AMBIVIUM is the responsible choice for anyone who feels like you do. Clinical studies have shown that AMBIVIUM patients are better for the environment because they hardly ever need to turn on the lights. Eco-friendly, soothing, restful AMBIVIUM can help you today. Get the rest you need, guilt free.

Patients who cannot afford AMBIVIUM are encouraged to have themselves declared incompetent by a reliable judge in their own state. Affordable AND convenient.

Side Effects

If you take AMBIVIUM, you may experience drowsiness, incontinence, impaired coordination, bed head, complicated explanations, waking up in unusual places, muttering, a loss of internal dialogue, wet pillows, a patent rejection of the time-space continuum, social ostracism, a rash that looks like eyes, chronic ambiguity, a craving for hand lotion, lawsuits, a distorted sense of security, hairy fingernails, buggery, unwanted body modifications, misdiagnosed as being in a persistent vegetative state, feeling good about Air Supply and the sensation of alien fibers growing beneath your skin. Consult your physician immediately if you experience any of these short term, almost totally inconsequential and relatively harmless side effects. Do not drink alcohol while taking AMBIVIUM, as it will enhance the effects of this medication.


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15 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can I take it even if I'm not sleepless? It sounds so good, especially being eco-friendly.

LV

Mojopo said...

LV, it tastes like candy. All the kids are having some.

Have a great Friday!

Anonymous said...

you too, have a great weekend

LV

Anonymous said...

It will give me reasons to live while not interfering with scotch consumption, yes?

Mojopo said...

Anony, I've never tried it with scotch. I'd go single malt, something reputable. Something that can be referenced in an emergency room quickly.

As soon as I can find a shady doc, a pharmacist on the make and a pestle, all of our wildest dreams can be realized.

Anonymous said...

Reputable scotch, not scrotch? Not a problem. OO! I know a pharmacist on the make and he has a pestle!
It will make photos of Blagojevich that flood my internets go away, yes? Love your blog.

Anonymous said...

What??? I have all those symptoms anyway. Lay some on me Mojo!!


\\Speedy//

Yvette said...

Speedy, I was about to say the same thing.

Minnie-sota said...

I'm worried about the bed head side effect.

Anony tu said...

Mojo, I'll be Anony Tu since there's already an Anony 1 in this thread, kay? That way we won't get confuseder. Or perhaps I'll get a snappy handle that imparts my personality.

No. We wouldn't want that.

When will this miracle be ready to dispense? I was ready for it like FOREVER!!!! and I don't mind bed head.

ProblemWithCaring said...

I honestly can not wait for my Obama/Daschle Healthfare socialist stimulus mandate.

Drugs really are our the only things we Americans make, that won't end up hurting us.

PapaPig said...

Ok, I understand not everyone here is heterosexual. But go with me. Mix it with daily Cialis and it could be called the Desperate Housewife Drug. She puts it in hubbies coffee, he stays quiet but useful.

skeeter...... said...

Complicated explanations..... too funny.

Minnie-sota said...

Haha, P-Pig.

PapaPig said...

Hey Mini-Soda. Your name reminds me of the first Frank Zappa album, please don't be offended.

Blame Mojopo for pulling in a pig to her board. One could never figure the keyword to find this place in Google! Blame her!

Where is she today? Hiding? Hung over? 2 day party at Gov Whatsabitch's house? I figure is living high as he won't have long before he is in for several years.