Thursday, December 04, 2008

Best Christmas Songs In The History Of Ever

Many of you are not shopping this year because of this busted flat in Baton Rouge economic disaster. Which means you might be missing holiday music at the mall. Oh, the piped-in joy of Christmas songs while you run over Wal-Mart employees to buy Playstations...

This is my list. I stand by it 100%. Hope you like!

Alvin And The Chipmunks - The Christmas Song
What is there not to love about chipmunk voices? Itssoeffingadorable! I'm into the song for the harmonic genius that is, "Me? I want a HUUUU-LA HOOOOOP." I could listen to 1,000 hours of radio static, as long as I get to hear the hula hoop line.

Cocteau Twins - Frosty The Snowman
Freaky freaky and freaky! It's like Frosty on Xanax with a heroin-fairy singing lead. English is not her first language. Wot? Zactly.

Spice Girls- Christmas Wrapping
A nice cover of The Waitresses. With a disco back beat and better production values. YAY YAY YAY!

Band Aid - Do They Know It's Christmas?

Boy George weeps for the snowless Christmas plains of Africa, Bono cries for starving children and George Michael pulls his homosexual groin hitting the high notes. It ain't snowing in Africa, you cracker. Christmas is a world of dread of fear for Band Aid. Tonight, thank God it's them instead of you...

Snow Miser - Heat Miser
Stop animation genius combined with big gay show tunes. On one hand you have the Snow Miser, who is freezing (brrrr!). And then there is Heat Miser, who is from hell. Too much!

José Feliciano - Feliz Navidad
No Christmas song reminds me more of leisure suits, the swinging 70's and Pacers more than this. Feliz Navidad makes me wants to eat hayacas and hand out Advent Calendars to little kids.

David Bowie and Bing Crosby - The Little Drummer Boy
Oh, this tales me back to my footie pajamas and Swiss Miss instant cocoa. I tear up for every pa-rum-pah-pum-pum. In this video, David Bowie lives down the road from you. Which means you live near a Methadone clinic. Good luck on your sobriety. Every day is new!

Dr. Elmo - Grandma Got Run-over By a Reindeer
What did you expect - It Came Upon A Midnight Clear? You can hear that at the grocery store. This is art, not shopping for bacon and paper towels!

Have some suggestions? Let 'er rip. If you post anything related to Mannheim Steamroller, you will be deleted.

Merry Christmas!

P.S.: If anyone can score "Here Comes X-Mas/When Southern Bells Ring" by the Judybats, let me know. I can't find it anywhere and I love it much. Thanks!

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Anonymous said...

Jose Feliciano!? Really?.... there are some good versions of Feliz Navidad.... well, the point is to get into the spirit, I guess.


Mojopo said...

But I like that one, LV. It's homey. I am welcome to hear better versions, at your guidance. Hit me up!

Anonymous said...

I don't like Feliciano's voice. I'll look for you some other in my evening when I'm home, ok? (here at work my pc has no speakers)


Mojopo said...

Thanks, LV. I'll wait patiently. And do expect a turkey recipe this weekend. :-) I will dumbfound your neighbors - anyone within sniffing distance.

Anonymous said...

oh yeah! have i told you, i live next to a brewery? from time to time we get the smell of fresh beer. i don't have your cooking abilities, but i promise i'll do my best to beat the beer smell for christmas


Minnie-sota said...

Mojo, my kitty wanted me to post this one for your kitties:

Hey, I like Jose's Feliz Navidad. That video takes me back. It's his suit I don't like.

Oh, kitty had the funniest look on her face during the chipmunk song.

Anonymous said...

I like the one where the chorus is "walking 'round in womens underwear". It sound very Christmasy..... and gay!!! =)


Anonymous said...

Speedy, that's the one I'm looking for! Do you have the link?

here's with Clay Walker:

the three tenors:


Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

Hey beautiful LV!!! Merry Christmas and Happy holidays to you and your family!!!
Here's the song. It makes me laugh everytime I hear it!!! =)


Anonymous said...

Oh Ralphie!!! The reigns of PIAPS will be kind and gentle..... as soon as the inseams are adjusted.....hahahaha!!!


Anonymous said...

Mojo here's the only version I could find.

Mojopo said...

Speedy how goes things?!? Great vid.

Can anyone else get the myspace linkage (above) to work? I get "invalid user".

Ralph, I need to get back to you on that. I think what you're really telling me is that you're drunk again. Listen to some Wilson Phillips (you like them right?) and have a nice shower.

Anonymous said...

Things are great Mojo!!! Happy holidays to you too!!! Try this link..


Mojopo said...


I've been looking EVERYWHERE! Thank you for that!!!!!!!!!


Mojopo said...

I just listened to it twice and I am grateful, Speedy. Way to go!

jennmcq said...

The Spice Girls! Yay! LOL

If I can find an .mp3 of the Judybats I will totally email it to you :)

Michael Wong 38 said...

Hi there, a while ago we had talked about exchanging blogroll links.

I was supposed to get back to you after I linked to your blog so you could link back.

I linked to your blog already. When you have some time, please link back ok?

cheers, michael wong at:

Mojopo said...

Mr. Wong - Shame on me. I have added you (pronto!), and thanks for the heads-up. You are there, in all your wonderful glory. Fun blog, and thank you for the linkage!

widepart said...

Not Christian but love the music and one of my favourite groups from the 70's did my all time favourite Christmas album here's a cut

We have this on the machine all through the Christmas week.

PapaPig said...

I did have a hoola hoop! More than one, as they broke easy. I could use one now for my gut.

But the static ? I thought that was bacon frying in my brain.... Now I know it's from my radio! what a relief!

BTW, La Bamba is the same music as Twist and Shout if you want to impress anyone switching lyrics to the music. Cheech taught me that.

PapaPig said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PapaPig said...

What about La Bamba? Not a Christmas song but cheerful if you like to dance. Salsa anyone?

Ok, even if you don't like it, get a mental picture of a Pig Salsa Dancing! :@) OINK!

PapaPig said...

LOL, I noticed no more comments after I had everyone picture a Pig doing a Salsa Dance. Sorry :@)

Anonymous said...

I have that Judybats song. What is your email?