Monday, December 01, 2008
Inauguration Day Tickets - Want
Inauguration Day tickets? It’s the new Powerball, man. Eleven-hundred bazillion people are scrambling for Inauguration Day tickets, to see Socialist Muslim Domestic Terrorist-friendly President Elect Obama take the reigns of power from the confirmed anti-Christ, George Dubya. January 20th, 2009, in Washington, DC is bigger than The Beatles at Shea Stadium and every Burning Man Festival combined. Be there at noon.
240,000 tickets will be printed. 30,000 of those people get something to sit on.
Tickets to this event are free and will be distributed by US senators and congressional representatives, about a week or two before the big day. It is not yet illegal to sell Inauguration Day tickets, but lawmakers are working on that. Meanwhile, scalpers are making a fortune on the black-market, for tickets that have not been “officially” promised to anyone. Plenty of people are scheduled to be royally screwed by these scams.
Weeks ago I added my name to the vast assortment of official waiting lists. When I finished calling all of the Democrats in my voting district, I started calling Republican officials. “Wouldn’t you rather give me a ticket than a hater wearing a sheet?”, I said. I even had the nerve to ask for two tickets. Hey, it can’t hurt to just ask.
As best as I can tell, I have nowhere to sleep if I actually land a ticket. And I don’t even care! All I know is that I’m trying very hard to stand outside (all day long) in January. DC is prone to wicked ice storms that time of year, and so I’m researching ways to include hot lava into my wardrobe.
Sally, I’ve been waiting 8 years for this. Even if I have to watch Obama taking the oath of office on TV, I can guarantee you that Inauguration Day is going to be one of the best moments of my life. My only concern, to be honest, is making sure that I have enough tissues handy.