Saturday, January 24, 2009
Goat Fingered In Nigerian Crime Spree
Nigerian police have fingered a goat as the suspected mastermind behind an attempted carjacking. As police closed in on would-be Mazda thieves one of the men transformed into a goat, a creature prized for it’s delicious cheese-making abilities and tin can-eating hijinks.
It is not yet clear why the suspected thief transformed into a goat, rather than a wolf or a bat. No matter. The goat has been arrested and will face trial.
Shape shifting was a popular skill practiced in most nations for thousands of years, but it has become less common in the modern age. The reasons for this are varied. Of the many factors considered, water flouridation and mega-churches rank high on the list.
I was not stealing anything at the time, but I distinctly remember turning into a giant wooden block in 1994 (A B C and D, plus 1 and 2). It was at a disco in Manhattan. I became aware of my predicament after a co-worker informed me that I had accidentally ingested her boyfriend’s Special K. Very much not recommended, but with some assistance I eventually changed into a cab ride home.
I don’t think I would have chosen to be a goat, but that’s just me. How about you? When you’re out stealing compact cars, which cloaking device do you prefer?