Thursday, June 04, 2009

Kim Jong-il and Kim Jong-un

North Korean leader, Kim Jong-il, has chosen his son, Kim Jong-un, to be his successor. Find out what your neighbors are saying!

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Gretchen Fabres-Olson
Lickety Split Liquors, Owner
Are you serious – Kim Jong-un? The youngest? Now I know why he hasn’t been in here in a while. I thought he was in AA or something. He used to come by once or twice a week for J├Ągermeister and a box of Slim Jims. My friend Juanita used to do his perms, but she had to let him go when he got all handy with the shampoo girl one day and made her cry. Juanita said he only tipped her two dollars. Hello? Two dollars! What is she supposed to do with two dollars?

Marshall Farina
Surveyor, Retired
Something is not right about that family. Jong-un came by trick-or-treating last Halloween. He was 24 years old then! He was wearing a really awful, last minute hobo costume. There he was, knocking on my door with a dirty face, like it was supposed to be a beard, and a can of beans tied on the end of a stick… No imagination what so ever. But worse, he’s a grown-up! I mean, he’s short and he could almost get away with it. Almost but no. He made his sister carry his candy bag, too. Pathetic. I would have punched him in the balls but I thought he would slash my tires or something. North Korea is screwed, man. All of Kim Jong’s kids are total whackos.

Stuart Olson
Dude, we play WOW all the frigging time. That’s World of Warcraft for the newbies. Mostly, we play at his house. He’s got, like, six different Alienware lappies and we nailed all the cheats. Good times. I’m going to be his Defense Minister.

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Anonymous said...

Good morning, Mojo!
I'm glad they are not my neighbours.


Anonymous said...

OT, I've just seen this:


anony tu said...

Honestly, I think Ms Fabres-Olson should just thank her lucky stars her customer was Kim Jong-un and not Anthony Abbate. Officer Tony would teach her to talk about a paying customer that way! Mr. Farina's testimony, however, is very compelling. I sympathize with him. I too have a little dipshit in my neighborhood who is way too old to be trick-or-treating and, like Mr. Farina, I put up with it for fear that he'll do some awful shit to my car or something if I don't fork over the loot. It's awful getting old!

I want to ask Stu Olson a question: Stuart, what in the hell do you know about defense?! Really! You couldn't even stave off the schoolyard bully. When you WENT to school. Which you DON'T anymore. Look at your mom, Stu, she's a nervous wreck! Get out of the house! Get some exercise!

I think I've known all along Kim the Elder would pick that little prick "un", but if I had to hear it straight up, I'd rather hear it from Mojo than from somebody like that godawful Neil Cavutto. Bummer!

THIS Mojopost... hmmmm...

Okay, THIS Mojopost gives us a reason to be happy the world will end in 2012. For that, I award it the highest rating the law allows me to bestow -- 10!
That's 52 tens in a row, Ms Mojo. How much love can you stand?

(You didn't by any chance get Gretchen's phone number, didja?)

Mojopo said...

LV, brilliant article from the NY Times. I read that, too. What's so bad about having a female POV as a judge? You get six thumbs up for good linkage! Taa-daa!

Anony - I'm going to start off my saying that your comments are a TEN. 10! Five points for topical clarity, three points for Neil Cavutto and two points for that whole Mayan calendar wonderfulness that awaits us all.

P.S.: Gretchen swings like a pendulum. She will call you.

Mojopo said...

I tried to follow up with Stuart. He blew me off as soon as his Hot Pockets came out of the nuker.

I must remember to bring Hot Pockets next time. What flavors are there?

anony tu said...

Oh, Hotpockets! Hotpockets! I know! I know! They come in a variety of. There's pepperoni and cheese, sausage and cheese, egg and sausage and cheese, and others! Stu? He'd be a pepperoni and cheese. (Cheese is a constant.)

a.t. said...

Did I say ham and cheese? There's ham and cheese.

a.t. said...

That cheese thing whet your appetite, didn't it? Stuart will never see the first one of those Hotpockets.

Speedy said...

I spit out my coffee when I read this!!! =)

Anonymous said...

Hey guys!

I just want to let you know that Obama arrived safe to Germany. Angie is getting ready to show him around.

Have a nice day!

anony tu said...

I did not imagine a post on top of this one. there was one. It was about Obama's speech. I was coming to rate it, (the post, not the speech), and now it's gone! Who took it? I'm going to turn the lights out. Whoever took can just put it back. When I turn the lights back on, if the post has returned, there'll be no questions asked.

Okay, here we go. Lights out.

Mojopo said...

Whoa! I must have smacked the wrong button before I went to sleep. BRB.