Monday, June 15, 2009

Mojopoll - Results and New Poll (Books I Want To Poop On)


I asked Mojopost readers which judge they would pick for the Supreme Court if Sonia Sotomayor breaks another leg, and almost everyone chose The International Chili Society. According to you, people who can award blue ribbons to bowls of chili are just as capable of making decisions about gun control, abortion and stem cell research. And now you all understand how we roll in the US of A – on our stomachs.

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One person chose Judge Taylor in the last Mojopoll. I know because I picked that one myself. “Who the heck is Judge Taylor – is he on Court TV or UPN?” someone asked. Hmmm. Well, I guess you all lied when you said you read To Kill A Mockingbird. Now does Judge Taylor ring a bell or wasn’t he mentioned in Cliff Notes?

You remind me of fellow I knew in college. He used to stock his Ikea bookshelves with all kinds of “important books” by “noted authors” he knew nothing about, and he thought women would find his bookshelves irresistible. It all fell apart one day when a girl asked him something about Camille Paglia’s menopause book.

Oh sure, I’ve posed as a fan of a book I never read. Sometimes it speeds up a conversation with a real boor. I did it at a dinner party once, when everyone was talking about “The Celestine Prophecy”, a book I would gladly load into a cannon and blow into a convenient landfill. If any book needs to be a garbage bomb, I’d have to say that “The Celestine Prophecy” is in my Top Five. I tried to finish that book, but it made me feel like I had to cut somebody. No, I didn't look back.

Here’s your task for today. Help me remember some of the worst books ever written. I’ve suggested five books I would poop on, listed at the poll on your right. I can add other books to the list if more than five people mention the same title. Hit me up. Which books would you most like to poop on?

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10 comments:

anony tu said...

Coming from the city of Oprah's Book-of-the-Month Club, THIS Mojopost is an homage to tomes, yes? Since I opened an account with Audible I've read zillions of new books! I don't even have to wear my glasses!

Okay, so, I would shoot out of that canon The Teachings of Don Juan by Carlos Castanada. Old book with an interesting history. Do you know about it?

Minnie-sota said...

What was that one that was so popular and they made a movie out of it? Oh, I remember. The Da Vinci Code.

Speedy said...

1. Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand
2. Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health by L. Ron Hubbard
3. Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein
4. A Lifetime of Love: Poems on the Passages of Life by Leonard Nimoy
5. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
Those are just a few of the vomit in the book store crowd....

anony tu said...

Oh, yes, Minnie and Speedy, anything by Dan Brown -- kaboom! Out the cannon it goes!

anony tu said...

OT/ OMG, Iran!

Mojopo said...

Iran - OMFG. Imagine if that took place in FL, in 2000.

PapaPig said...

Iran - OMFG. Imagine if that took place in FL, in 2000.

Should have...

But I am worried that Democrats have no backbone. They let FL go 9 years ago (that long?)

Now they are letting Obama go back on issue after issue, against this campaign platform.

Maybe I am being too hard on them, but someone needs to stand up.

Anonymous said...

let's be fair! 9 years ago there was no twitter and sms was not thought for demonstrations. How FL was suppose to react at that time?! To do a Tiananmen?

LV

anony tu said...

Dear Mr. Dick Cheney,

Today I saw videos of a whole lot of young Iranian men and women marching in the streets of Tehran with a taste for liberty that was so palpable it was oozing out of my computer screen. Man! It was fucking beautiful! I got to thinking, "what if we in the United States had allowed Dick Cheney to bomb Iran into the stone age the way we let him bomb Iraq == geez, probably a lot of these brave, young men and women, these purveyors of liberty, might not be here." So, I'm writing to say, jeebus fuckin christ, man! What the hell were you thinking? Isn't time for you to just shut the fuck up?

Sincerely,

Mojopo said...

Right on, Anony.

LV, you're right. People were not as mobilized as they are now, thanks to new technology. Still, I have to confess that the US is LAZY. Scared as hell of needing stitches, too. Do you know what it costs to visit an ER on my country? Worse, radicals always end up being on the wrong side. The only people spilling blood here are right wing fanatics who are murdering innocent people. We're too self-absorded and wonder if our good intentions for a justified protest will lump us together on a short trip to a mental therapy hospital, along with racist scum and Bible-preaching manaiacs. The stigma of being called a nutjob has all but strangled our ability to be passionate, brave protesters. That and the fact that everyone is disorganized and have other things to do - like drive their kids to soccer and shop at Whole Foods. Excuses, excuses... So lame.

Good thing we didn't bomb Iran to bits. We might have missed a brilliant lesson about courage and networking.