MOJOPOST WEEKLY UPDATE

MISSING LINK FOUND!
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! You came from a monkey, and you smell like one too! You can call her Ida, if you're nasty.

BIG FAKE-OUT HEADLINE OF THE WEEK
“UN Blasts North Korea”
Lil Kim Jong-il busted nuclear caps underground and now the diplomats are going buck-wild cray-zay. But they did NOT nuke him back!



MOM SAYS:
“There was an EARTHQUAKE near Niagara Falls! I was in my garden when it happened but I did not feel a thing. I wish I did. It sounds exciting.”




BOOK REVIEW BY MY FRIEND BARBARA
“Oh! You must read ‘Dear Husband’ by Joyce Carol Oates.” The essays have open endings, she said, and it will keep you awake for hours.

HEALTH NEWS:
I broke my rear bowling. At some point between stepping forward and letting go of the 50 lb. mass in my hand, a tragic, gripping pain occurred in the vicinity of my left butt cheek (go large!). Tuesday’s checklist: Find someone to fix my ass!

BILL HILTS FISH LOCATOR

“Capt. Bob Cinelli sends word that there has been some very good fishing in 60 to 250 feet of water out in front of Olcott Beach from the surface down to 130 feet down using a variety of techniques. Spoons or Spin Doctors and flies are the way to go.”

Olcott Beach Update

Tired of Milan? Sick of DC? Mojopost can provide you with the latest news about Olcott Beach, NY, from her Mom and other noted sources.


Playground Flasher Nabbed!
Local pedo finally busted, ending two months of terror at local playgrounds.






Coyote Update
Displaced coyotes continue to bite the living crap out of slow-moving victims.




Mom Said
Stupid bird builds a nest on widow’s porch light. “You should see the mess,” Mom said. “Mud, string, straw, condom wrappers… I’m going to get up at 3:00 in the morning and turn on the porch lights, and I will burn their bottoms!” You go, girl. Don’t take that nonsense sitting down!



Bill Hilt’s Weekly Fish Locator
“Kyle Stabler of Sanborn caught a 32 pound carp this week while he was fishing Olcott Harbor for perch. He was using minnows for his impressive catch. While there aren’t as many steelhead in the 18 Mile Creek system, some of the warm water fish species have started to turn on.”

• Weather – Looks just about right.

• Dining – Bye’s Popcorn is open for business! OMFG!

If you have news about Olcott Beach, please contact Mojopost. Right now! Thank you much.