Monday, October 06, 2008

Register To Vote

Time slips away and sometimes we put off things. We love to put off things so much that we invented Snooze Buttons and In-Boxes with unlimited space. Be that as it may, voter registration deadlines are drawing near. OMAIGAHD HURRY.

Don't know if you can vote? Visit this national database to find out. Plug in the required info (name, location) and WAA-LAH. This site provides registration date deadlines, and tells you what kind of information to bring to get registered.

If you don’t register to vote, this is what’s going to happen:

A giant crater will open up underneath the toilet you are sitting on, as you’re making your morning poop. You, and the toilet you are sitting on, will be sucked into the crater. Firemen will have to pull you out of the crater, with a toilet attached to your business, and the video will go viral. Is that how you want to be remembered?

All of your friends will be wearing very cool “I Voted” stickers on November 4th. Everyone who votes gets a sticker. People who do not vote do not get stickers. People who do not wear the sticker may experience lightheadedness, impotence, hair growth on their tongues, female baldness, devaluation of bling, and persistent cynicism with foul-smelling vision. EEEEEIIII!

Register to vote. It's so much easier!

Visit your local Board of Elections on-line for more information. It’s FREE, FREE, and FREE!

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Anonymous said...

And don't forget, not to vote can be much more expensive.


Mojopo said...

Not voting costs billions of dollars, and extracts calcium from bones. Good point, LV!

People - LV is not from the US. If LV cares, you should too. Please register to vote. Please make sure you can vote. Do something.

Anonymous said...

I'm getting a "I voted" sticker for each nipple!!!!


Ralph said...




Mojopo said...


GOPnot4me said...

Remember the old saying from Chicago? Vote early and vote often. Well.... Been having some fun at the local watering hole by telling the McCain bigots that I'm voting twice. Once, as myself, at the polls and again by mail as the old gal who used to live here in my home of five years, before she passed. And I tell them, that since she's died, she has voted the straight Democratic ticket for the first time ever! You should see how red they turn. Most amusing. (and I only vote once, dammit!)

Minnie-sota said...

I'm registered! 'Cause I do not want hair growth on my tongue.