Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Obama Presents Package To Republicans
President Obama spent Tuesday trying to convince House Republicans to support his enormous economic stimulus package. The president has been very eager to gain Republican cooperation, while most Democrats are wondering why he even bothers. It’s not like we actually need those people. What we have here is a failure to understand the Freudian symbolism involved. Sometimes a cigar is not just a cigar.
Personally, I wouldn’t leave my purse unattended around those House Republicans. They advocate the Robin Hood In Reverse doctrine, in that giving to the rich and taking from the poor is preferred. What does Obama see in them that is not repulsive? Shouldn’t he be shaming Republicans into submission or something?
I was thinking this over while I was researching another project and stumbled across an article about Sigmund Freud, the anal theorist and phallically obsessed founder of modern psychology. Poop was important to Freud, but penises ran the show. That is when I realized Pres. Obama was exercising his (conscious or unconscious) desire to make his enemies behold his presidential penis.
Apparently, Obama’s penis is so massive that it requires more than Democratic hands to hold it aloft. He leaves his detractors with the choice to support his manhood or be deprived of it. Ah-ha! Now we are getting somewhere. Penis Politics! For some reason, I am reminded of medieval armor and those intimidating codpieces.
It might look like Obama is asking for Republicans to love his money. He really wants them to admire his package. It helps that white male Republicans are not lesbians.
Oh, don’t worry. Obama will get his package delivered.
I’m having so much fun with this new administration that I can’t stand myself.