Thursday, May 14, 2009

The Wrath Of Wanda

The media would not hesitate to bend your poop out of shape over Swine Flu, and when a comedian makes a joke about a fat-faced loudmouth on AM radio all day they act as if John Wayne Gacy blew up Columbine.

I am referring to Wanda Sykes performance at the White House Correspondents Dinner last Saturday. She said, “Rush Limbaugh said he hopes this administration fails. I hope his kidneys fail, how about that?” I think that sounds awesome! Thanks for asking.

She went too far,” cried the bullies from their 24-hour pulpits. “Terribly inappropriate,” said the Republican torture-apologists. Oh really? Personally, I don’t think comedy can go far enough to emphasize how much dialysis Rush Limbaugh is going to need to pump all that hillbilly heroin out of his system. I hope his kidneys fail like I wish for a white Christmas every December.


Dick Cheney should be enema-boarded. It’s like water boarding, but lower. Enema-board him least 183 times, or until he finally confesses that he wants to gay marry Khalid Sheik Mohammed.

And you know what else?

If I find myself sick with cancer, I’m going to write a tell-all book before I die about John Edwards’s philandering penis. His wife is making a fortune off it – why can’t I?

“Facing life’s challenges is about courage. My husband John Edwards is absolutely ignorant about courage because of his small penis, and the way it compels him to have extra-marital affairs with ugly bags while I am having chemotherapy [cough cough].”


Congratulations to Wanda and her wife on the new twins!

The Smiths - Big Mouth Strikes Again

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Speedy said...

I actually found Wanda's comedy to be quite funny that day. Just the thought of Rush being a loaded on Oxycontin terrorist was a hoot! Did you hear what Barak said about Hillary?? Too Funny!!! =)

Minnie-sota said...

When I first heard the Limbaugh joke, I thought, "Gulp." Anyway, my favorite joke was when she said she could break Sean Hannity by giving him a middle seat in couch. That was clever.

J9 said...

Between this and Margaret and Helen, I have a great big smile this morning!

PapaPig said...

Hurray for Wanda, I too thought it was funny. I was shocked watching Keith Obermann belittling Wanda for saying that.

To me it was more shocking but funny to hear President Obama call John Boehner a man of color. To me that was little more over the top, being he is President and Boehner being about the top Rep on the hill. Still the pig laughed.

I say onward, John Boehner, Michelle Bachmann, Rush Limbaugh and Dick (less) Cheney. The more they open thier mouths the smaller and smaller the Rep tent gets. As Rachel (whose show I am liking more lately than Keith's) said "They are trying a new strategy, the small tent party".

anony tuu said...

THIS Mojopost is what we in the Mojopost rating business call a "current events Mojo." These are very popular with people who haven't time to catch up on the news each day and, I can say for a 100% fact, when you get your update from Mojo you get it clean, you get it honest, and you get it right! O my GOD!! is THIS Mojopost ever a 10!!!

Mojopo said...

Papa, I didn't know Keef had a stroke over Wanda. I'll have to look that up. I know he's popular, and his points are great, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to give him a swirlie. I just do. Can't help it.

anon tu said...

Garsh. I was thinking so hard about rating this post and so blown away by the exquisiousitiness of our Queen of Woo-hoo! that I forgot to say what I intended to say before I said what I said. Here is what I was planning to say:

When I first saw the topic of THIS Mojopost, I was immediately reminded of Sykes' joke to Obama about him being "half white." Well, she said it in a tasteful way, and I was thinking "what else is half brown, half white and tasteful" and it occurred to __ fudge marshmellow brownies! We've all known for a long time that Mojo almost always encrypts a secret message into her posts, so I put on my thinking cap. (Really! I have one!) Then, I remembered that in the thread of the post below this one Mojo and I discovered yet another great coincidence about ourselves and yet another reason why we should be married to one another or at least going steady. BOTH of us have an edition of old hardbound Horizon magazines -- probably bought at the same time on the same day, I'd wager. I remembered we talked about an article I'd read in one of them about Peiter Bruegel's "Mad Meg." So, on a hunch, I tore out the pages of that article and, again on a hunch, I cut out all of the "M's" on the first page and stretched it out over my computer screen, right over Mojo's post. In an instant I could see that I was onto something. So, next page, I cut out all the "O's" and stretched that over my screen. Then, page three, I cut out what? You're right! But, there are only three pages to the article, what about the other "O"? thought I. So, again just a hunch, (I do a lot of hunching), I turned the "O" page upside down and drew it over the screen. Having written down all the letters I began to decipher. I remembered that Mojo is quite fond of using the Wasakokski Drop Letter Code so popular among KGB operatives in the cold war days.

Anyway, keeping it short, it's not a recipe for maeshmallow brownies. It's a vanilla-mocha parfait. Baked! Yes, baked! And WE didn't know there is such a thing. That's why we have Mojo.

Mojopo said...

At last, someone who understands me! I'd marry you if you were a Dyson Ball. Can you try?

I'm the Umberto Eco of recipes, doll baby!

Hyperbole Casserole

Canned tuna
Some cream soup beginging with the letter "BLECCH"
Cooked egg noodles

Spend all day opening the cans with your fingernails. After you get home from the ER, mix your ingredients together and bake at 350 until you see Jesus's browned face on the topping. Sell the whole damn thing on Ebay. Ka-ching!

PapaPig said...

Mojopo said...

Papa, I didn't know Keef had a stroke over Wanda. I'll have to look that up. I know he's popular, and his points are great, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to give him a swirlie. I just do. Can't help it.

Yeapers, the Keefer didn't like Wanda's comments. Maybe he is trying to strike a balance or something. The look on his face didn't match what he was saying, like it was planned to be more, omg, fair and biased.

Minnie-sota said...

Wait, Keith O. didn't like Wanda's comments? Hey, I watched the entire C-SPAN video and I remember a camera shot of him laughing. Hmmmmm. Wonder if I could get a screencapture of it.

Mojopo said...

Minnie, that would be awesome, if you can! So why was Keith being so self-righteous. Oh wait - nevermind.

GOPnot4me said...

As to John Edwards peripatetic appendage, at least mAnn Coulter hasn't called him a fag lately. :)

Mojopo said...

Which reminds me, GOP (you Crooks and Liars celeb, you) I haven't called my sister a fag lately.

She really is a giant fag.

Mojopo said...

I love her, is what I meant.