Friday, May 15, 2009

Free Viagra!


Are you a guy without a job? Have you lost the pep in your step because you can’t afford a Viagra pill? Welcome to your lucky day – Pfizer, Inc. is going to hand out Viagra like it’s Halloween candy to poor, disheveled impotent men.



Here’s the link, and a blurb:
Applicants will have to sign a statement that they are suffering financial hardship and provide a "pink slip" or similar employer notice. Applications will be accepted through Dec. 31, with medication provided for up to 12 months after approval — or until the person becomes insured again.



Can’t buy your date dinner first? So what! With your interesting personality and positive attitude, what could possibly go wrong besides an unplanned pregnancy, an erection that lasts longer than a day or a massive heart attack?

The wimmins won't mind!



Not to be outdone, I called Tampax and Playtex to find out of they had any plans to foster brand loyalty with the bleeding, female and unemployed demographic. Both companies had no comment.

Mojopost will not encourage women to sign up for the Viagra offer and sell it at street value, in order to buy a product that keeps their couches from looking like a crime scene. No.

Did I mention that Pfizer is giving away Lipitor, too?

Marvin Gaye – Let’s Get It On


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24 comments:

Smokey said...

This is discriminatory towards women and working stiffs. I suppose Pfizer is going to ask the government to pay for it, unless they plan on using it as a tax write-off for charitable contributions. I had thought about writing my congressman, but the address I have is for the guy who lost this last Nov. and I think he's probably applying for his own supply.
Maybe we need to get them to hook us up with a hardship supply of Xanax...

anony tuu said...

THIS Mojopost is what we in the biz call a "public service Mojopost." It's one of my favorite catagories!

Don't look for encrypted messages or recipes in one of these sorts of posts because, when it comes to public service, Mojo does not fool around. 10!!

Hey, Mojo, when you said you wish I were a Dyson Ball, were you telling me I suck or were you asking me to suck something? I will normally suck whatever I'm asked to suck with people I like. But wouldn't you rather have an Oreck? Alas, you could practice your Shakespeare while you chase them dust bunnies with an Oreck.

More Scrotch!

a.t. said...

Smokey, I think some people are too hard on Pfizer.

...

Mojopo said...

Right ON, Smokey! Girl, I hear you.

Anony, I did not mean to imply that you suck. Because you do not! I am merely riffing on my new Dyson, and the fact that I told my entire Facebook that I'm going to marry it. So far, we have only French kissed.

Dr.Hattori said...

Viagra, the FDA (Food and Drugs Administration) approved anti-impotence drug is composed of specific inactive ingredients such as anhydrous dibasic calcium phosphate, microcrystalline cellulose, magnesium stearate et al and altogether the medicine contains Sildenafil as the chief component. But the chief ingredient responsible for Viagra efficacy is sildenafil only and overall, the erectile dysfunction medicine viagra would yield effective results only when taken in accordance with the instructions of the doctor.

Speedy said...

Maybe they expect you to use the couch as a pad. Hey, that's free!!! God forbid impotent men shouldn't get a boner for free.... Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!!!

Your friend, Rusty said...

I saw the headline and thought the government was violating another immigrant's habeas corpus rights. My bad.

Have a great weekend, Mojo.

anonytuu said...

Yes, but can your Dyson make a decent martini? I can.

anony tu said...

And Mojo, I would suck anything you'd ask me to suck. You are the boss and I trust your leadership entirely.

PapaPig said...

I don't think I can touch this one. What won't happen during hard times.

Mojopo said...

Thank God I don't need nylons or sugar.

My eyes, my eyes, my eyes...

at said...

All my people and I ask is to be allowed to practice our religion of Ass Worship in peace. I don't know why I'm saying this.

Down, Scrotch, down!

atu said...

One of my jobs here at Mojopost (yes, I work here! for darn good pay) is to inspire our 2X Mike's BRU Award winning mistress while she prepares the weekend edition. Sometimes I do sometimes I don't, but just noting that for whatever reasons the "big blogs" seem to not be saying much about this:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/30750042/

If anybody knows whether Nora spent the afternoon giving turd blossom a balzectomy, it'd be Mojo. She has a fly on every wall.

Down, you rascal, down!

Mojopo said...

I've been hunting down Rove info, but nothing enchanted me yet.

Currently, I am writing about Costco Hummus Lady and feeling a need for sleep. She is from West Virginia, but it's been a long day.

atu said...

Sleep, queenie. Scrotch and I will put the paper to bed.

atu said...

and stand guard

atu said...

Still guarding the shop...

atu said...

...and guarding...

atu said...

hmmm. That Marvin Gaye clip is EXACTLY how I became a proud father.
hmmm. still guarding....

Mojopo said...

LOL! Guess what? I have cat grass coming up, and lettuce buds!

Basil activated, too.

Preakness is coming up. And I need to put the meat away, gotta go.

(sirloins and chicken breasts, oh my)

atu said...

Wha? You're putting the meat away? The meat? That's it?

Okay... uh... well, I'll just... uh... stand guard while you watch the Preakness I guess. Drop in anytime I guess.

atu said...

...guarding, yes, I'm guarding...

atu said...

I have this:

http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/your-shot/jigsaw-puzzles

nice photos. And puzzles!

atu said...

are we getting it on yet?