Mojopost proudly presents the Whoopty Freakin’ Doo Awards of 2009. Whoopty Freakin’ Doo’s are awarded for underwhelming performances and embarrassments, that amount to less bang/more whimper. See if your low expectations made our list!
Biggest Waste Of Time Ever
Twitter
Twitter is soon to be as culturally relevant as a CB radio. It is a diversion from meaningful relationships, invented by Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, displayed in 140 characters or less (like this). #loser!
Giant Sucking Noise
Pres. Barack Obama
Hopey had a crappy summer (birthers, tea-baggers, and Cheney, oh my!). It got even worse when he won a Nobel Peace Prize. Rewarding the new kid too soon is always a bad idea. With the rest of his semester ruined, Pres. Obama will have no choice but to eat lunch with foreign exchange students in the cafeteria. Thanks a lot, Norway!
Epic Failure Of An Ill-Conceived Hoax
Balloon Boy
Everybody got sucked into the balloon, from NORAD to Wolf Blitzer. Everybody except for Falcon Heene, age 6. When it was discovered that Falcon's parents, Richard and Mayumi, staged the hoax to get a TV show, no one was more grateful than CNN. Every little drop of ratings juice counts!
Biggest Douchebag*
John Gosselin
We have never seen the reality program that used to feature Jon Gosselin, his ex-wife, Kate, or their eight children. But we do read the tabloids whenever we’re waiting in line at the grocery store. By all accounts, Jon is a middle-aged, balding chub who likes to put his penis into women other than his wife. When he is not putting his thing somewhere or another, he’s busy spending his children’s education fund on douchebag essentials like Ed Hardy shirts and hair plugs.
Runner Up - Octomom
Most Likely To Fake Remorse
Tiger Woods
Perhaps you’ve heard the jokes by now. “He’s no Tiger, he’s a Cheetah!” or, “Tiger Woods hit a tree and a bunch of women fell out.” The world’s greatest living athlete will now attempt to be very sorry about having extra-marital affairs with plenty of women, but we know better. He’s just sad he didn’t use a disposable cell phone.
* The term “douchebag” is a recipient of the Most Overused Characterization by Whoopty Freakin’ Doo at an earlier ceremony. Douchebag will be retired, and remain locked in a case alongside of Sheeple, Fucktard and Repukelican.
Posts
11 comments:
Yeah, with all those millions one would think the Tig could afford a better concealment system for his cheetahing.
P.S I think I will Tweet this Blog post. Hah.
D'oh!
Don't put fucktard away... I'll miss it too much!
It's too young to be sheeple-d into a (douche)bag and sat on by a repukelican!
Freakin BRILLIANT! "Whoopty Awards!! I just had to post a link to your blog to FreakinUniverse.com.
Thank you! "Hopey..." that is FUNNY!
All of those are incredibly epic.
Haha , I think you need a list of overused , douchey words. Such as epic , pwn , and ownage. LMAO!
I agree with all of those. I did love Jon and Kate. But they have turned into complete asses.
~Yo neice. Barfhead. xD
ohh , and btw the person who said they wanna tweet this , is my new favorite person.
I love twitter! haha , it may be a waste of time , but an amusing one.
Oh no! A new Mojopost appears out of the ether and I wasn't there to greet it?!
My comments:
What is twitter?
Retire "Hopey" along with douchebag.
Who is Jon Gosselin? I mean besides a douchebag?
Did something happen to Tiger Woods?
End comments.
Okay, I really do know the answers to all of those questions.
I had a great word for my word verification to post. It was dompu.
Let's give that word a definition. We can make it a contest, yes?
yes!!!!! More tomorrow. YESH
Mama always said I could be somebody. Now look at me all registered at Mojopost and everything! Mama? Are you watching?
My verification word is inershis.
in-UR-shis: The singular form of inershi, which are those little red bumps you get on your ass from sitting on it too much.
In a sentence: Hey, man, would you mind popping this inershis for me?
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