Friday, November 21, 2008

Fatface Karl Rove Has Big Ideas For Barack Obama

And there it was on The Wall Street Journal, “Now Obama Has To Govern”, by Karl Rove. Oh, I read it all right. All sixteen blowhardy paragraphs. You know what it reminded me of? When my cat, Mrblz, is constipated and her turd emerges only halfway, she scoots her bottom on the floor to try and dislodge the offending dook. She leaves a trail on the tile that sort of looks like a Jackson Pollack painting on One Brown Marker Day. That is what Karl Rove’s article brought to mind: turd scrawl.

As you might already know, most people refer to Rove as Turd Blossom (his former boss gave him the nickname). The Mrblz connection to Rove was inevitable, really.

As for the article by Mr. T. Blossom – what can I say? No matter what he types, Rove always sounds like he’s channeling a puritanical school-marm who’s claim to fame is pinching children’s eyes when they misbehave. Some marms give time-outs, and other marms (Rove) prefer to blind children. “I bet you won’t pass notes in class again, will you Tommy?” he says.

Rove has big plans for President Elect Obama. As a former Bush administration imagineer, he gave his best advice. For example, Rove says that President Elect Obama must stop being so ambitious. Mr. Rove made careful plans to sabotage the US. Fix things? No, no, no. You will never succeed at being successful, so why bother? Kick back, cue up the closed-circuit Gitmo Cam and hang out.

Further, Rove said that Obama must stop listening to citizens. Specifically, Obama must stop texting people, close his Internet forum and get off his tech-savvy high horse. It is illegal, Rove says, because presidents are prohibited from listening to anyone. I got confused on that part. Was he damning technology or did he totally just sound like he was condemning witchcraft? Obama, dude – listen to me. Stay out of Salem because Rove has kindling wood and a lighter. Man, he totally thinks you’re practicing Dark Arts on the people.

I won’t even bother with the rest of the article. The gist of it is that Rove told the black man to lay low and quit casting spells on people.

I guess it’s hard to be irrelevant in the new world.

At last!

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minnie said...

OMB, I had to read this right before I went to bed. Now I can't get to sleep because I am laughing too hard. Kitty is rolling on the floor over the cat turd description.

Nite now!

Minnie again said...

um that was supposed to be OMG. Should not type without my glasses. Ha.

Mojopo said...

O-mega boom?

skeeter...... said...

Calling Rove a cat turd is demeaning to all cat turds. Check out TOT... I'm having a very proud moment.

Minnie-sota said...

Mojo, hahaha, I was using my iTouch to type that comment late last night or rather early money and the enhanced typing feature kept trying to change the acronym, OMG.

Kitty and I are still laughing over this one.