Monday, November 17, 2008

G20 World Economy Summit Menu: Not Serving Bulk Ramen

Dear Dollar Menu Fans:

I thought you might like to know what the White House served for the G20 Summit On Financial Markets and The World Economy. Mmmm! They even thought about the right wines.

Did you know? Presidents pay for their own groceries while living in the White House. However, when the US hosts luncheons and state dinners U.S. taxpayers foot the bill.

As you were enjoying exactly three Chicken McNuggets and squirting packets of complimentary Arby's Sauce down your throat for nourishment, your leaders were dining on fruitwood-smoked Quail with Quince Gastrique, rack of lamb, baked Brie and $300 bottles of wine.

May I offer an alternative menu?

Dumpster-dived greens from behind Costco
Subway water soup
A microscopic fraction of Spam on Saltine crackers
Super-Target turkey loaf with the gravy of bourgeois tears
Ramen noodles served in the trunk of American cars
Sunny-D with Isopropyl Alcohol
One-eighth of a toasted marshmallow

Before you tie on your paper towel bib, a word from our sponsor.

Dig in, ya’all!

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Anonymous said...

yeah! because of the econimic crisis, they decided to have a very modest meeting. at least, that's what i heard.


Mojopo said...

Oh, but it WAS modest. Compare it with the (appropriately titled) Hunger Summit:

I'm lighting my torch now, and I just sharpened my pitchfork if anyone is interested in a road trip...

Anonymous said...

also you have to consider that one no longer has to pay for a wine as much as one was used to pay


Mojopo said...

LV, I admire your persistence. But still - Angela Merkel was shot-gunning $300 bottles of wine between courses. That's like - I dunno - a year's wages in the US (Appalachian region). We're a cash poor and humble nation. I swear.

Anonymous said...

Mojo, I swear to god! our Angie is a model of spartan behavior. It's just that, when she meets her pal W, she can't content her happiness.


Cloan said...

Might I also recommend the following, my usual daily lunch, and a minor variation on Mojo's recipe:

1 pack ramen noodles (your choice of powdered beef or chicken flavor packet)
Several chunks of summer sausage (use sparingly: at $3.00 a sausage, you can only afford one summer sausage a week)
a few branches of the head of a cauliflower (see above note)
Ragu sauce (see above note)

Bon appitite! (see above note)

Minnie-sota said...

Mojo, I'm so glad you suggested one-eighth of a toasted marshmallow because one must have dessert even in the worst of economic times.

Say, that reminds me. I made homemade chicken noodle soup yesterday and it was yummy; a variation of your recipe.

skeeter said...

I've had breakfast.... 4 fruit loops, 1/7 of a poptart no frosting, and full 8oz glass of tap water. Knowing I worked that off brushing my teeth.... I gotta long way to go before lunch.... 6 tic-tac's and another 8oz of tap water.

jennmcq said...

wait... you guys all get to eat? :(

cyclotourist said...

Bourgeois that I am, I prefer to feed my family whatever Costco is serving in the aisles. Because nowhere does it say I can't camp out in front of the lady passin' out the beef jerky!

Mojopo said...

Cyclotourist, I love the beef jerky lady at Costco. And the juice lady, too. Best of all, I love the cheese-sample lady. She makes me smile and gives me free cubes of Pepperjack (as many as I like even!).

Anonymous said...

This menu makes me crave McDonlds for some reason....


Christine said...

Spam is highly underrated... dab of relish and some mayo - mmmMMMM good.

Anonymous said...

STOP HATING if u dont like it then dont deal with it. not my fault u fuckers dont got money

Anonymous said...

QQ! WAHH mommy they eat better food wahhhhh! stop bitching then and go work harder or be smarter. WAHHH no fair booo hooo hoo bitches