Friday, November 07, 2008
Obama’s Agenda Revealed: First 100 Days
While we are waiting for President Elect Obama to officially take over the free world with Hope-ism and Changeness, now might be a good time to reflect on our coming agenda items. Let’s review:
1) Provide all citizens with overalls, berets and a little red book by January 20th, noon sharp. Encourage beard growth. Discourage deodorant.
2) Convert the home entertainment aisle at all Wal-Mart’s into mosques. Holla, Allah!
3) Replace the name Jesus in the Bible with “GOBAMA ‘08”.
4) Promote gay marriage licenses on McDonald’s Dollar Menu.
5) Make abortion a requirement for a high-school diploma.
6) Stage a coup on Rush Limbaugh’s bank account and lather his wealth on food-stamping lay-abouts in need of methamphetamines and crack cocaine.
7) Ship Lou Dobbs off to work in a Honduran sweatshop. Deny him pants.
8) Turn off the electric fence at Gitmo, turn the prisoners loose and begin building a Six Flags amusement park in it’s place.
9) Replace our entire stock of bullets with small dildos. “Go fuck yourself, radical extremists! Boo, you suck!”
10) Bring the troops home, encourage them to take up pot smoking and offer them 40 acres and a mule.
Yes, I think that covers the major points. If I’ve forgotten anything, let me know.
From Biden 3:16:
“For God so loved the world – and friends, let me tell you something. He so loved this world. He even loved Scranton, PA, which is a hell hole! But let me get back to God. God gave his one and only GOBAMA ’08, so that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal Obamaness. Amen.”