Friday, May 08, 2009

G-Nome Paradoxus Mystifies TV Land


According to Mojopost apparatchik, Anony Tu, hidden episodes of M*A*S*H can be viewed while watching local TV commercials backwards. I spent the evening researching this theory (called G-Nome Paradoxus) and can easily confirm the validity of his or her report. However, GNP is not strictly delegated to M*A*S*H reruns. A Petri dish full of nanobots working at my Southside rocket lab found clips from Quincy and Divorce Court on public access programs, too. Public access TV is literally swarming with backward paradoxes.

Remember to tilt your head and look:



It’s uncanny, isn’t it?

Scrotch and Combos Alert: Anony and I will be on C-SPAN tomorrow, testifying before Congress about GNP. Don’t forget to set the DVR! Pull up a recliner – enjoy your snack and beverage.

Thank you, Dr. B. Pony at Classical Gas Emissions for the video. This site has been added to the Best Links section, where it will be given an education, clothes and nourishing meals for less than .33 cents a day.

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21 comments:

anony tu said...

Oh, TEN!!!!!

I'm nervous as a cat about that C-Spank thing. Hope my butt doesn't shine.

anony tu said...

PS -- Personally, I like this sort of topic. But I'd understand if you'd rather be writing about Arlen Specter.

anonytu said...

PPS -- That instrument the gentleman in the video is playing is called a Yaw. If you'll put pizza dough in your blender set on "puree", you can recreate the sound of a yaw by pressing the dough firmly into the blade, but don't do it, it'll burn the motor out. Listen closely to this vid with the bass turned all the way down and you can hear the audio from the lost episode of Matlock. Who is it keeps losing all these episodes anyway?

Papa Pig worries that his posts are too strange. What site has he been visiting? Certainly not THIS one!

Mojopo said...

This C-SPAN green room is absolutely FILTHY. Who was here last?

Arlen Specter's Momager asked me to hold off on an article about him until she's ready to launch his new lingerie line. Ever since those topless photos of him came out, they've tried to be smarter about pacing themselves.

Guess what? I found clips of Angie Dickinson, circa Policewoman, after turning over a commercial for personal injury lawyers. Is the paradux contagious?

Mojopo said...

P.S.: Are you sure the featured instrument is a Yaw? It sounds like a depressed ambulance, but I could be wrong.

anonytu said...

GNP, as far as I know is not contagious. However, certain television series -- particularly sit-coms from the 1970's after disco, sit-comia's low point -- are quite impressionable and may "invite" the paradoxus so to speak. But you knew that.

You have copies of the Specter photos?! I was under the impression that mess had been swept under the carpet. Be very careful, Mojo.

Minnie-sota said...

Oh, so I went to the Classical Gas Emissions blog and now I wish I could see that rectum surgery video. Fascinating instruments!

PapaPig said...

Everyone here is confused, and rightfully so by the way history was recorded and told.

This phenomena was first expressed by Albert Einstein. Remembering that his second wife was his cousin, history made a grammatical error in recording one of his major theorems.

He didn't postulate the "Theory of Relativity", but rather he and his second wife confirmed the basis of "Relative Titty".

But you can see how they could have never put this in high school history books.

But it is a true story...

Piggie :@)

PapaPig said...

Oh, I totally forgot!

The basis of this formed Thud's first law!

"If you push something hard enough, it will fall over."

Ok, you say, how does that relate to the basis of the "Relative Titty"?

Well simple, if you follow this with Testicles Deviate to Thud's First law.

"What goes in, must come out."

There now it should all be perfectly clear, to those of you with higher scientific minds...

Piggie :@)

Mojopo said...

Pap knows about teats. He has nine.

PapaPig said...

Hence and furthermore this is all explained in the scientific theory I stated above disputing the fact a paradox may exist!

Moreover, it should also be obvious that there is no paradox, there is only a single dox, as the second dox is now lost to time hence a single dox can never actually be a paradox.

Taking this one more level, this is very similar and a parabola comparison to the concept of "Choreographical Theorem" of "It takes two to Tango", which is indeed a valid ParaDox since there are two, hence a pair.

This though has been disputed and postulated that it takes more than just two to tango, meaning takes other factors, one of which mood, which is created by location, thus the name "The Tango Chorographical Deviate" to the "Choreographical Theorem". Some are now calling this by a common name of dance floor.

Still further research is needed and funding is expected by the next stimulus process. Because it appears there is a missing melodious harmonic factor that has not yet been adequately researched or how this ties into another odd phenomena about whistling while working. There seems to be a connection.

However this method has only rendered in still images parts of the old TV show "Lost in Space" with burst of audio about Warning Will Robinson then it cuts out.

Thank you for reading this and please write your member of Congress to help this work to advance.

PapaPig said...

But my teats are milkless. And I married a duck that doesn't have any!

Maybe I should have married that cow I dated for years. She did have big ones.

Mojopo said...

Yes, but the duck is right there, just like Occam said she would be. That cow didn't know jack squat about anything but drinking gin and bowling.

Mojopo said...

Papa said:

"Taking this one more level, this is very similar and a parabola comparison to the concept of "Choreographical Theorem" of "It takes two to Tango", which is indeed a valid ParaDox since there are two, hence a pair."

I saw that on Dancing With The Stars! Steve Wozniak. Episode 3. Papa, you totally made my day.

anony tu said...

Papa married a duck? If he were Mormon, he could have married a pair o' ducks.

PapaPig said...

Mojopo said...

"Yes, but the duck is right there, just like Occam said she would be. That cow didn't know jack squat about anything but drinking gin and bowling."

Yes the Duck is truely Occamistic which is the only true reality, just as I am a pig.

During that era of my life the cow provided much needed knowledge to the young pig I was. I was an epoch of some good mammaries.

But this breaks hard against Freud's theory of food and sex, since neither cows nor pigs are shy about eating. As well as slamming Einstein's Theory of "Relative Titty" by bosomming the fact that neither pigs, cows nor ducks are related!

All of which are steeped in the tea bagging of irrelevant and dangerous thinking. At least to small animals on most planets.

PapaPig said...

Papa said:

"Taking this one more level, this is very similar and a parabola comparison to the concept of "Choreographical Theorem" of "It takes two to Tango", which is indeed a valid ParaDox since there are two, hence a pair."

Mojopo said...

"I saw that on Dancing With The Stars! Steve Wozniak. Episode 3. Papa, you totally made my day."

Thus showing in your terms exactly how TV is the perfect Occamism. Anyone that watches SNL surely knows this is true. And it is spreading rapidly on Thursday Nights on NBC now as well!

It is all starting to gel, just like a brain on Hulu! yes!!!

PapaPig said...

anony tu said...

"Papa married a duck? If he were Mormon, he could have married a pair o' ducks."

This part gets confusing as any ParaDux becomes. The Law of Moses strictly prohibited eating of Pork. However the Mormons have conveniently dropped this from their Occamism (never teach a pig a new word).

That would follow that a Mormon pig could eat itself. For that matter so could a Mormon duck. Now adding Freud's theory of over eating as a replacement to or a sexual act, this would make both Mormon Ducks and Pigs asexual without the need for mates. It would also limit reproduction of the species, also blocking any boarding of said Arks.

Hence you are correct, there is a Paradux, being a Mormon pig could marry a Pair a Ducks. So under a very twisted (as is space and time in a strong gravitational field such as a black hole) interpretation of Mormon doctrine while allowing it would not be sustainable, since long ago all the ducks and pigs would have consumed themselves!

Which would actually make a good Republican analogy to Heisenberg uncertainty principle as it applies to quantum physics or Mormon farm animals!

Which also begs the question to the Religious Right, "Is it a bigger sin to consume or eat one's self or not abstain though publicly professing it such as Bristol Palin?" Who's family itself is maybe the best example of non Occamism through their own paradoxical examples to the nation.

Can I hear ya say Amen.....

So say we all........

anonytu said...

I'll say Amen! Shucks, after all that, I'll say Hallelujah!

But seriously, now.

Papa, I'll need some of your insight. What do you know about the metaphysical vortex created by the imbibing of fermented juniper berries? I want to know because, frankly, I'm worried about Mojo. Normally, her Friday night ritual of partaking of "the Combo" ends with a visit and a post to her blog. By the very nature of those posts, so steeped in spiritualism, I've often worried that she teeters to closely to the edge of the vortex. If you've read the Sa'alum Tetras, (Sumarian version), you know very well that it warns those with psychic abilities -- as our Mojo has proven time and time again that she most certainly possesses -- never to approach the edge of the vortex in anything less than a solemn state of bliss. But Mojo, so wise on so many levels, has the heart of a lark when it comes to that gaddamned vortex! I've warned her! OHHH, how I've warned her!

Anyway, I fear she may have slipped in. So, any ideas how we might get her back?

a.t. said...

Okay, now I'm really worried. I'll tie this rope around my waste, have a few martinis, and I'm jumping into the vortex to bring our Mojo out!

PapaPig said...

anonytu said...
"Anyway, I fear she may have slipped in. So, any ideas how we might get her back?"

a.t. said...
"Okay, now I'm really worried. I'll tie this rope around my waste, have a few martinis, and I'm jumping into the vortex to bring our Mojo out!"

a.t. has the best solution but if the rope was not made of hemp and set smoldering, I fear a.t. may have been pulled into the vortex.

If this doesn't work, we will need to ask the Military Industrial Complex to build a special shape charge. Then fire it at the vortex through a Chappa'ai that will move the vortex back to a safe distance, then we can pluck Mojo more safely. This assume she is not vaporized by the shape charge.

Lets use the smoldering hemp rope first. Martinis are optional from my research.