Saturday, May 02, 2009
Review: Dino’s Pizzeria Is From Hell
For the first time in my whole life I've had to throw away a pizza. I still can't explain it (maybe you can) but Dino’s pizza crust had MOLD. OMFG!
I noticed that something tasted funny about the pizza I ordered, so I took a closer look at the crust and there it was - raw penicillin! Do they pre-bake their crusts and store them in a wet cave? If you're curious to know, mold on pizza tastes like soap and gasoline. Swear to God.
I ordered garden salads with the pizza. The salads were gritty, and after I took a bite of the pizza it seemed wise to take a closer look at the lettuce. Guess what I found? SAND and FLIES, as far as the eyes could see! FLIES! There were more insects in the salads than croutons! If the chef considered those salads washed, I’d hate to see his fingernails. I should have ordered a farted-on booger pizza from Domino’s and called it a night, but NOoooOOO!
Dino, if you are reading this I am telling you right now that I am the one who ratted you out on Google, Yelp, Menuism and Metromix. I hope a Dutch motorcade runs you over.