Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Snowed In By Daley In Chicago

When Chicago has a moment of downtime away from corruption and greed, we can always rely on incompetence to pass the time. For example, the city can’t afford adequate snow removal, sand or road salt. Let me explain something about this fix: It snows in Chicago like it rains in Seattle. Blaming our mayor, Richard M. Daley, for the lack of pro-active snow removal is the right thing to do.

I enjoy exciting walks to the train along the skating rink that is my sidewalk, with what feels like two Carvel ice cream cakes strapped to my feet. Abject terror first thing in the morning is one inexpensive way to burn calories, but I’ve heard it’s not very heart-smart. While I have managed to avoid knocking out my front teeth so far this season, the sound of old people breaking their hips has become a little too, shall we say, common.

Sure, the main roads are cleared. The side streets? Plows come by (on occasion) to scrape the snow off the ice, and knock as many mirrors off parked cars as humanly possible. I have a garage, but pity the fool who does not. You want license plate numbers? When the plow comes around again next year, I’ll write it down.

The upside of this mess? The potholes are filled with something for a change. Snow and ice. Neither of those things is helpful for traction, but I have not activated my airbags driving to the grocery store this month. If I had square wheels made of hammerheads, my drive-time could not possibly be worse.

President-elect Obama has said he will authorize work to rebuild our nation’s roads and bridges. Sir, we would gratefully have a wee thimble full of construction – or even just the crust of repair. Really – it wouldn’t take much to calm people the hell down. Chicagoans are a few weeks away from shoving Mayor Daley’s face into a snow bank and depantsing him in front of the Olympic Committee. I’m not saying that I would do that – certainly not. I have a snow shovel in my trunk and I feel like fighting.

I don’t know which gangster or corrupt official won’t be paid this month, but Cook County needs some plows and salt. Do not make me take my earrings off.

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Anonymous said...

Morning, Mojo! Chicago sounds so an exciting city! Not boring, for sure. lol


Mojopo said...

Good day to you, LV! No, it's not boring here. Being nearly side-swiped by a city bus fish-tailing down the ice is my fun time!

Anonymous said...

I can sympathize coming from snow country in Washington. You should drive around Nevada. The roads here suck balls!!! And when they do a "construction project" it takes 5 times longer than it did back home. Plus they only do 1 lane at a time! It's like roadwork in Mexico. Obama has his work cut out for him with the infrastructure rebuild. That's for sure!


Minnie-sota said...

Mojo, I stayed very far back of the city bus that was in front of me last night on the way home. We know snow and ice up here in Minnesota.

PapaPig said...

I went in my freezer to check if I still had ice. Part of being a Florida Piglet.

Still they don't fix the roads here until the hole is big enough for a Volkswagen to disappear.

The loan to fix all the roads in this country will be huge.

It's funny, but not funny haha. In my life I watched our sales tax go from 4 to 7 percent. Each increase is to fix roads so it passes. Each time within a year, they move the money to general funds and beg for another penny.

Every time the people were suckered until last time it was a referendum and it lost by 72 percent! That was in 2006, so maybe the voters in this country really are shedding their sheep skins and using their brains voting!

Loveshtoned said...

It's been cold yet brilliantly sunny in good old London town. Enjoying the homemade forecasting ladies. Maybe we should start a weather channel?
Just a suggestion.


PapaPig said...

Loveshtoned. I am a Male Chauvinist Pig! Blame Mojo for dragging me here.

Anony tu said...

Mojopo, time to get serious about shoes with cleats. For walkin and throwin.

Mojopo said...

Well hello, brilliant people with infrastructure gripes and shoe ideas! Long time no see. How's your mother?

FYI - Chicago is set to get a foot of snow, starting Thursday afternoon. Look for my mug shot on The Smoking Gun this Friday! OK, maybe not. Or maybe yes.