Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Joe The Plumber Has A New Gig
Joe The Plumber shipped off to Israel, because he is a war correspondent for PajamasMedia now. Unsatisfied with his position as the other embarrassing footnote in Sen. John McCain’s 2008 campaign journal, Joe was eager to fulfill his pundit fantasy and receive a paycheck this year.
So long, brown and semi-solid toilet clogs in Ohio! Hello, shell-shocked war zone residents! These days, Joe comes home from work smelling like a rocket attack more than raw sewage. As far as Joe is concerned, he traded up.
PajamasMedia could not possibly be more proud of Joe. For pennies a capfull, Joe has put his tax-evading, square bald head on the line to bring mega-traffic to his employer’s website. Snicker at the absurdity of this spectacle all you want to, Anderson Cooper of CNN, but Joe is running into bomb shelters during real-time and he looks realistically scared shitless. That’s right, Andy – Joe is scooping you. Can you taste the situational irony? You betcha!
What do you want me to say? That Joe is naive and sophomoric? That Joe makes me want to pull my brains out with both hands? Dig deeper, Andy. Joe the big, dumb jerk and his expendable mouth might learn a thing or two while he is over there. How do you like them crab apples, Andy?
As far as I am concerned, every Joe should have the opportunity to see real human suffering up close. Being humbled and terrified is not a bad thing, provided that our plumber isn’t mortared. If that happens, we are all screwed. Well, at least until the next news cycle and then it’s back to the Yellow Pages for the next guy.
REM – What’s The Frequency Kenneth?