Monday, January 12, 2009

Mojopoll – Readers Choose Eternity, Reject Carbon Footprints

Last week, I asked my readers what I should do with their body when they die. Of the choices listed, mummification smoked cremation and organ donations by a wide margin. In fourth place was “I don’t care.” A proper burial was practically shunned and received spit instead of votes.

What does this tell us about the people who read Mojopost? Funeral directors and organ donation providers – take notes!

Packaging eternity is a tricky business. Obviously, my readers are unsatisfied with the choices they can afford, like boring tombstones and stupid urns. People who are going to die (someday) have made it clear that they wish to be preserved and put on display. An admission could be charged. People could learn things. Each display booth could be tricked-out with personal comments from the deceased, a link to their blog and their personalized iTunes play-list – think Facebook page for the dead. I would be more than happy to rent my expertise on this matter to a savvy entrepreneur.

Organ donation providers should consider marketing a combo with funeral directors. For example, people who offer their livers and eyeballs could receive a discount on an affordable method of mummification. Be creative.

This week’s poll is about your neighbors. They’re awfully curious, aren’t they? What do you think those people are up to? The poll is at the right. Multiple choice, too! Select as many answers as you like.

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Anonymous said...

Good Morning, Mojo!

Are you having problem with your neighbors? Or are you wishing your mummie to be displayed next to your neighbors? neighbors for the eternity =)


Mojopo said...

You know what? I love my neighbors. They're old and quiet, and we talk all the time. My neighbors are cool. Apparently, our building is having a problem with people on the second floor. I stay out of it. Don't start none, won't be none.

Anonymous said...

I've been for a year in my building and I still don't know all my neighbors. But the ones I know, I like. We only have a family with children on the first floor, but they are ok.


Mojopo said...

There is a cool dry cleaner in my neighborhood. I love those people! The guy at the counter recites my cell phone number from memory, plugs it into his database and then hands me clean clothes. I give him money, and then he even helps me out to my car (even though I don't need help!). Wow. He does that for everyone. Love that guy!

a.t. said...

YAY MUMMY! I knew you could do it.

I am completely out of time! What the heck do you want from me?!

THIS Mojopost gets a 10!

Anonymous said...

My neighbors upstairs are noisy. It seems a herd of elephants lives up there! The elephants come out after 10pm which is when I'm trying to sleep. Other than the elephants the rest are nice. Well actually, the elephants are nice too, just noisy.


PapaPig said...

Neighbors? What are they? Don't get me started.

My own post rated negative 5.

Minnie-sota said...

My new neighbor above me seems to be more quiet than the previous, thank goodness.

The neighbors catty-corner across the hall have a baby, and she is sooooo cute. I can sometimes hear her crying when I'm in the hallway but don't hear a thing when I'm in my apartment.

A couple of years ago, one of my neighbors kept stealing my newspaper. Asshole (guy in his 20s). The manager tried to catch him. It finally stopped when he moved out.

Yvette said...

I met my new neighbors long before I knew they would someday live next door. They were nice by default, since they are friends with my girlfriend. For that reason, and because my girlfriend says so, I voted cool, so cool.

Mojopo said...

Hi, Speedy! I had noisy neighbors when I was a kid. The Dieroids! I mean Dierolfs. All of the parents were blood relatives and all of their kids looked like flounders. They argued over everything, but mostly at dinner time. Still, I think my family was the noisiest on the block. We were Those People.

an. t. said...

My neighbors were great with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Mojopo said...

Hannibal, I haven't seen you since the 20th class reunion! I admire your work.