Thursday, January 08, 2009
Roland Burris and His Legion Of Zombies
Democrats in Illinois and the US Senate have been transformed into a legion of brain-eating zombies. It happened overnight. The swarming hives of ethics lovers were up in arms about Blago appointing Roland Burris on Monday. By Wednesday the Dems had decided they don’t want to live, if living is without Roland. Wot?
My Democrats love to get in line for things. They fall in for elections, picketing and to collect unemployment checks. Lines, lines, lines. Can’t get enough of them! When the Zombie Cooties broke out, it spread fast among Democrats because we are all waiting in line and huddled together. The change was swift and dramatic.
Jesse White, the IL Secretary of State who initially refused to certify Roland, has changed his damn-fool mind. Sen. Harry Reid became animated long enough to seem disapproving, but he couldn’t stand it. No spine. Even President-elect Obama was all like, “No way!” for five whole seconds. He, too, has backed away. Today, Senate Dems have “I LOVE ROLAND” flags hanging out of their tender behinds. They can’t love Roland enough, is what I am saying. Blago is laughing from his political grave as the reigning Zombie King.
Roland played his race card, the card I had spent months trying to diminish once and for all. And those idiots fell for it. When I got on board the Obama bandwagon I made a point to work against this card because the color of one’s skin should have nothing to do with anything. Silly me and my rainbow-colored crayon box.
I would agree that the US Senate is far too pale to accurately represent America, but Roland’s instant hot chocolate is hardly the elixir we need. If Roland had been up for a special election I would have been happy to hear him out. There was a door of opportunity and then Roland painted it black. He agreed to be appointed to office by Blago – a man who put a dollar value on his integrity, who is facing federal corruption charges – and for what? It is disgusting, but no one in charge calls it disgusting because they have their mouths full of brains.