Sunday, January 04, 2009

Mojopoll: Latest Results, More Questions Remain


















According to last week’s poll, 83% of you think MySpace is SO ghetto. Every pimped-out page should come with a crash helmet and puke bags. According to Mojopollsters, the residents of MySpace look like Polish whores and pedos. Ok, maybe not all of them. Only the pages most of us have seen.

This news article, about a three-legged dog and the dead baby it dug up, has inspired our latest poll. Oh, now – come on. Hear me out before you throw your arms up in the air and make me feel bad. Yes, of course the baby part is God-awful – from start to finish this story is an X-Files episode that never was (and I also want to know how a three-legged dog learned how to dig). Anyhow, the point is that this morbid tale set off my Tangential Bobsled and I went to think. “How do you get the smell of dead baby out a dog’s mouth?” Yes, it crossed my mind.

Then BINGO. Here’s the poll:

When you die, what should I do with the body?

Click the poll, let me know. If you have a grander scheme that rivals the selections offered please list them in the comment section, below.

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22 comments:

PapaPig said...

The trouble with donating organs in Florida, is then then send a bill to the family to pay for taking them out. That is wrong. I took mine off my license.

anony tu said...

Now THIS is a Mojopol we can really sink our teeth into! Heck, EVERYBODY'S gonna die!

I love the "option" option 'cause I have one: Landfill. Another might be: Dumpster (which in a way is "landfill" again.)

Of course, probably all you goody goodies will say, "donate organs! donate organs! ooo donating organs is sooo good!" Well, you may be right. It may be a good thing, but listen, they don't do gall bladder transplants, pituitary gland, tonsil, or...
...butthole! transplants. So what do we do with all the organs left from YOU that nobody wants? Take a minute to think about it, I can wait.
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Who's thinking "processing plant"? Bleeech! Blaaaygh!

PapaPig said...

I just realized that Dogs were the original Green Species, for peeing on the green lawns.

Can a three legged dog pee? how? no never mind, I don't want to know.

My new policy will know be know as Pee Green. Not Green Peas, no no no...

anony tu said...

Oh no!!!! Jeebus mofuggin crXst! This Mojopoll has been up less than half a day and already the "donate organs" is in a dead heat with "cremation"! And nobody, but nobody likes "mummification" or her close cousin, "taxidermy"! Mummification is the burial of kings and queens, people! Get with it!

Mum-my! Mum-my! Mum-my!

Pee-green! Pee-green! Pee-green!

J9 said...

I think you should have another option to donate organs, then cremate the rest.

Minnie-sota said...

Mojo, I couldn't make a decision on the last poll so I never voted. I am a firm believer in voting but that time I was flummoxed.

This one is easy! Hey, JB, I was able to click on two options: Donate Organs, Cremation.

Mojo, just make sure you donate my organs before you cremate me. The order of the deed is important.

at said...

Oh yeah, donate them organs. Mojo won't mind storing them in her deep freeze until somebody comes to pick them up, sure.

Mum-my! mum-my! mum-my!

anony tu said...

Mummification update:

Well, cremation is kickin mummification's arse. That just figures! Every week I try to steer you folks to the interesting, exotic choices that are available to us, and every week you become more and more predictable. Does me in, dammit. I give. I'm going to vote for "proper burial", move to a little house with a white picket fence, marry my childhood sweetheart, get a real job, and shoot myself in the head. All because of you people!

PS -- Oh, I bet you all think you're really getting edgy with "cremation". Oh yeah, you're really lettin it all hang out. It's the latest, hippest thing in death...
...IN WASSILA, ALASKA! You're darn tootin it is!

Pro-per! Pro-per! Pro-per!

at said...

Welllll, let's have a brief glimpse into the lives of the people who choose organ donation. This is a special dog lover's edition. Robespierre goes nuts when he smells Grandma's anus in his dog chow. He loved Grandma!

Let's have a peekaloo:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkXagcqNbzc&feature=related

Anonymous said...

Let's see what the people who choose mummification are doing tonight.

Oh! They're doing some more of this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcetcnQGEDk

Anonymous said...

I may go post that on Ralph's site.

Mojopo said...

Well. I think Papa Pig is just off his nut completely, which is why I love him so. I think I'm in his will. I get to pee on his lawn!

Anony T. - I called your parole officer. We had a delightful discussion about your Jerry Mathers fixation and the way you kind of "forget" to take your anti-psychotic drugs. Absolutely no one is judging you, and we are all hoping for your quick recovery.

I'm supportive as hell! I love everybody!

Mojopo said...

Psst - I want to be mummified. I can't afford it. It costs a bazillion dollars and do I look like Bernie Madoff to you? I started out wanting to be an Egyptologist (in kindergarten), and my psycho babysitter wouldn't let me make water until I learned to read hieroglyphics to her satisfaction.

Hence, I am intrigued as hell about mummification. By extension, I think I would make a great Bodyworlds exhibit, more so than executed Chinese prisoners. It's that or the Body Farm in TN. I love science. Don't you?

Anonymous said...

B. Madoff is due a double fisting but, science? Hell yeah I love science! And that's just my point: Mummification is cool because it's science! Tell me, are you voting mummification this poll? I won't tell anybody. I appreciate that you are a public figure and the hostess of a blog full of bland organ donars(?). I just want to know.

Anonymous said...

Donars or doners? Or donators?

Anonymous said...

Hurry up and tell me. It's almost lights out here in the parish prison.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I see. You're soooo diplomatic! Don't want to upset the creamos. Well, thanks a lot for the mummification support, I guess.

Anonymous said...

Well, you know what Andy Warhol said: "There is no BAD publicity."

Anonymous said...

I suppose you're having your milk bath now. Tell Oprah I said hi.

Mojopo said...

I'm all over the mummification vote. Sorry, I was refreshing my pre-Ambien cheese burrito.

Anonymous said...

Glad you got that all freshened up. Hate a tacky burrito.

You will not believe that I got myself out of bed to come back here and post the proper spelling of DONOR. It hit me like a wet fart right when I was dozing off. Now I goes to doze me off again, sated, and secure in the knowledge that I can spell sometimes. I'm just that vain, yes.

Nightly, Mojo.

J9 said...

I think the rosecrutians still mummify you if you donat your body to them.
Just sayin'