Friday, February 06, 2009

Ackerman and Markopolos Go Nuclear On The SEC

On Wednesday Rep. Gary Ackerman (Furious – NY) addressed the SEC during a Congressional hearing, to find out why they could not find their ass “…with both hands, even if the lights were on.” Ackerman delivered a series of well-aimed donkey punches at the SEC in light of their failure to notice Bernie Madoff’s $50-billion Ponzi scheme for the past nine years.



Harry Markopolos was working at Rampart Investment Management Co. when his boss told him to find out how Bernie Madoff was making so much money. With a few assistants and some pals, Markopolos discovered that Madoff was running the mother of all rip-offs. He also testified before Congress, because he had been blowing a whistle on Madoff since 2000. Boy, was he pissed!



Markopolos was at a disadvantage for years. By the looks of things, he probably was never the first person on anyone’s list to have lunch with. I’m not saying he’s ugly or boring, and I’m sure he’s a fine man, but he is somewhere between an adenoidal wonk and hard place. No one wants to come out and say it, but the SEC treated Markopolos like a crank caller. It’s pretty bad when the nebbishes at the SEC have better things to do than have a salad with you at Ruby Tuesday's. As a matter of fact, it was worth billions of dollars to them to avoid him.

Every year, like clockwork, Markopolos would warn the SEC about Bernie. The SEC would pretend to notice and then go back to playing Free Cell. Plenty of times they put him on the speakerphone, while everyone in the room made goofy faces and tried not to bust out laughing.

One day, Bernie Madoff confessed. “There is no innocent explanation,” he said. I should think not, especially when he made off with Elie Weisel’s foundation money (that’s not even the half of it). Everyone at the SEC shit their pants and died.

Rep. Ackerman is in this street fight for the right reasons and he is the perfect ally for Markopolos. He’s built like a fireplug and he acts like he runs a bowling alley. Together, the Markopolos/Ackerman equation is like every good 80’s teen movie, where the geek and the jerk are vindicated in a struggle against the popular frat. The formula works everytime, people.

Rep. Ackerman has a great finale. Check it out.



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17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good morning!

I was very impressed with your title. I thought, this post was going a bit more international and about Josef Ackermann's yesterday report
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/business/7871362.stm

Have a great weekend!

LV

Anonymous said...

Minnie, you and your saquatches are such a wimps!
;-)

LV

Mojopo said...

Sasquatch never visits Chicago. And here we have all of these fragrant hot dogs that dogs and cats love so much! So sad.

I found out something. If I type half standing up and half sitting down, I can hit the caps and not type in lower case. That stuff was embarrassing. Plus, I'm getting some exercise. WHOOO

MORNING LV! I'll get all up on Josef Ackermann's face tomorrow. I swear.

Mojopo said...

Sidenote: Who here is on Facebook?

Anonymous said...

Hey Mojo! Can you post a video of you typing the blog? Well, actually, I don't really need a video. I can imagine you quite lively.

I'm not on Facebook.

LV

Mojopo said...

Lively is a kind word. In reality, the sight of me typing is much more prehistoric than refined. I don't care. Whatever it takes, man, whatever.

Anonymous said...

Right on! Whatever, man! Sasquatch doen't type.

LV

Mojopo said...

Are you sure? Because I have seen some people from the Internet.

Anonymous said...

I've always thought, they use some speech recognition, no typing.

LV

Mojopo said...

You're so kind.

Anonymous said...

I'm horrified at the SEC. What a bunch of assmasters!!! Talk about cushy desk jobs with no actual work these guys are at the top of the garbage heap!!! I wonder if they sit around and google themselves all day???


\\Speedy//

Minnie-sota said...

Ackerman and Markopolos are my Sasquatch heroes. They have Sassy Quatched the SEC idiots!

Sasquatch rules.

Minnie-sota said...

And how come there's no Purple love in the poll? Where are the Purple people?

Mojopo said...

The Purple People are eating (people). Busy right now. Come back later.

Mojopo said...

Speedy, you know what else busts my rump? That Democrats spent a wad of dough at Kingsmill, in Williamsburg, VA. It bills itself as a luxury resort/spa. How can my Dems take the high road against Wall Street excess, when they're at a RESORT. Granted, I have been there. Cancun it is not. But still, I think it looks bad and they should have downsized the event. It struck me as a tone-deaf party for entitled politicians.

Anonymous said...

They are politicians.... That's how. I would have felt better if they'd gone to Cancun. It would have been cheaper....Hypocrites!!! If I had balls they would be busted!!! ;-)

\\Speedy//

Mojopo said...

Let's all go to Cancun and talk. It's cheaper.